Come and Play w/ Ginger Millay

Rape Fantasy

2011-09-12T00:09:00.002-04:00

the ultimate taboo
(reposted - originally published in Creative Loafing in 8/09)

“To be violated is perhaps a need in women, a secret erotic need.”
- Anais Nin

I am a naturally dominant woman. Kink, for me, is a hobby, a lifestyle & a profession. Some of my subs like pain, others humiliation, and some just enjoy doing as they’re told.

In the fetish scene & certainly professionally, people only see my Domina persona, Mistress Ginger: a whip-wielding woman in a corset & stilettos, or perhaps a latex-clad school girl leading a gaggle of boys on leashes.

This won’t change any time soon, but I have a hidden fantasy that I keep secret even from those with whom I’m most intimate. But, it’s time for me to come out of the cage: nothing gets me as ecstatically aroused and brimming with sexual excitement as thoughts and images of forced sex. You heard right. I have a fantasy of being raped.

You’re probably having one three reactions:

1) “WTF?! That’s appalling!” you think as you click to the next article about porn or sex scandals.

2) “WTF?! That’s some fucked up shit, but I‘m a little curious.”

3) “WTF?! Me, too, but don‘t tell anyone…”

I came to realize that images of forced sex made my ‘giney tickle the same way most modern Americans figure out anything about themselves: through movies. Years ago, I found myself incredibly turned on by a rape scene in the 1971 film, "Straw Dogs." Instead of feeling appalled or sick to my stomach, I started playing with myself. After that, I sought out more films with rape scenes, often with similar results. At first, I felt somewhat guilty and embarrassed about my secret pleasure, but hey - wet panties don’t lie.

I soon began exploring different sorts of “brutal” pornography. Images of forced sexual submission, like the “two guys break into a girl’s apartment and ravage her” scenario really got me going, particularly if it involved anal (always a porno fave). Watching women who desired to be dominated, however, left me high n’ dry.

As with all porn, some was hot and some just ridiculous, but regardless of caliber, no actual rape took place. These were paid actors and everything was consensual. I don’t wish for anyone to actually be raped, myself included, but there is something so exquisitely delicious about the forbidden fantasy.

Naturally, I had to wonder why this stuff got me so hot and bothered. As a connoisseur of pornography, I like to explore all edges of the industry, but so often find it too fake to be sexy. Fake tits, fake nails (who wants that up their twat!?), fake orgasms… the horrified reaction to being forced into sex is certainly more believable than having screaming orgasms seconds into “vanilla” porn. Rape porn doesn’t require good acting.

Though rarely vocalized, the rape fantasy is not unusual among women. In fact, in a 1974 study by Hariton and Singer, being “overpowered and forced to surrender” was the second most frequent female fantasy. A study by Knafo and Jaffe a decade later found it to be the most common fantasy during female sex.

These studies also found that despite this fantasy, these women had no desire to have sex forced upon them in real life. Freud wrote that “sexual desires conflict with one another, with social conventions, and most critically, with reality.”

One interesting explanation for rape fantasies is that being forced into sexual situations removes feelings of society-induced guilt, as the women obviously have no say in the matter. More common, however, is the belief that women simply enjoy their fantasies involving men who are so overcome with lust that they cannot control themselves.

Personally, I think I fantasize about being forced to submit because it’s light years away from my usual dominant nature. I find I most enjoy Domming alpha males, because it’s so exciting to watch them struggle with their submission. Similarly, the only men I ever allow to be even slightly aggressive with me are sweet, quiet, beta males. It’s all about the sexual persona differing from every day life.

Regardless of the reason, rape fantasies can be a part of A healthy sex life. They may even be played out after an in-depth conversation with a trusted partner and a good safe word, but I’ll get into that another time. We all have our fantasies, even if they are buried deep within our psyches. Admitting and coming to terms with them can be a strange, exhilarating process and can help us get in touch with our true sexual selves.

Are you afraid of the mark?

2011-08-19T20:09:00.014-04:00

Okay. Alright. My post about sadism frightened many potential clients. To that I have one thing to say: grow up. Even those who ask for pain generally follow it up with "no marks." I respect that.

I love pain & I love marks, but if you say you don't want bruises, scratches n' such, you won't have any. Just because I enjoy inflicting pain does not mean it's the only thing I enjoy. I do plenty of sessions that involve very light pain, or none whatsoever. Even when I am doing a hardcore scene, there's always a safe word, an escape plan, and I respect it.

I've been getting multiple texts, calls & emails asking if all pain is consensual & I've taken to responding with one word: DUH. It specifically states in my post that, "I would never, NEVER inflict pain on someone who didn't expressly consent to it." Clear enough?

Potential clients often ask what I'm into & I give a list - despite there already being one in my ad. Many get worried if I say I like something they do not. I don't do everything I like in every session, because each client is different...like pervy little snowflakes.

I particularly enjoy role play, bondage, foot worship, sensory deprivation, tease n' denial (with absolutely NO sexual touching) and, yes, all kinds of corporal punishment.

Regardless of the type of session, I like to have a mental connection. I love digging into peoples minds; teasing out, understanding & exploring their kink. It fascinates me. I'm not just a mindless hitting machine - it goes much deeper than that.

I was a lifestyle Domme for years before I went pro. I do this because I adore it & if the client isn't happy, neither am I. That's how it works. So don't be such a fucking pussy - save it for your session.

In order of appearance, photos are by Ian Reid, Ben Lazar & Chris Becker

Musing & Monsters

2011-07-19T22:01:00.011-04:00

or "Shit, I'm a fucking sadist!"

No one would ever guess it to look at me - all smiles & pretty dresses - but I've really always known I get a kick out of inflicting pain. Not until a couple months ago, however, did I have a "Fuck, something's wrong with me!"moment.

It came after a night of intense play with fetish model/kinky porn star/brainy hot chick, Miss Calico Lane. Her boyfriend & I went at her at a fetish party, putting on quite a show & taking me to levels of ecstatic sadism I've rarely experienced. There was a riding crop, biting, scratching, pinching, cunt busting and, um, a metal rod.

Oh, and the party's sole photographer, my buddy Ian Reid, was standing by...

I cannot possibly explain how exhilarating it is to allow yourself to tap into that hidden chamber of human nature. And the thrill of having such a stunning woman look up into your eyes & whisper, "You can do it harder, ma'am." To be not only allowed, but asked to take this beautiful, soft, feminine body & push it to the edge; make it writhe & squirm, squeal & shriek. And with an audience, no less. My inner exhibitionist, sadist & Sappho dancing a maniacal mambo to the tune of this deeply submissive, masochistic redhead.

Afterward, she thanked me. We kissed, had a drink. It was magnificent.

Two days later, I saw this photo:

Holy. Shit.

Seeing this, my throat constricted. I couldn't stop staring at the photo, with a mix of terror, awe & excitement. I created that. And I enjoyed it. Of course, she did, too, & everything was consensual... but it was the first moment I ever, even briefly, thought there might be something wrong with me.

That's why I waited a while to write about it, I guess, despite the amazing photos.

A week or so later, I saw she & her partner at another party and we played again, though in a very different manner. It can't be all whips n' chains all the time.

But this is who I am. I have sadistic tendencies. But do I need it to enjoy myself? No. Can I be sexually aroused without it? Absolutely. And I would never, NEVER inflict pain on someone who didn't expressly consent to it. I may be fucked up. I may enjoy a bit of constructed cruelty, but only with the utmost care, communication & respect.

As Dexter says, "I'm a neat monster," or at least a principled one.

First scar to the right

2011-07-17T16:24:00.021-04:00

A guided tour through my work week

Since returning from vacation ten days ago, business has been hopping. Seems like a perfect opportunity to paint you a portrait of my recent constellation of clientele.

Thursday, the 7th, was my first night back at the dungeon. The manager told me that a regular client of another Mistress (who was out of town) had requested to see me. He wanted an hour of over-the-knee spanking within role play scenarios of my choice.

I began as mommy punishing her son for cheating on a math test. I was stern, but caring: "You know mommy loves you, but you need a spanking so you learn to be a good boy." Then I was a sadistic babysitter who pulled out the big-girl toys when he refused to go to bed. Finally, a music teacher who, frustrated which his voice changing, decided to spank him like a little boy to make him sing like one.

He was happy. I was happy. It was a fun one.

On Saturday, I returned & had two independent sessions (meaning I set up the appointments personally, as opposed to having the house do so - I make more money this way). The first, with one of my regulars who I affectionately call "Butt Baby." The second was a new guy who was into bondage, tease n' denial & foot worship. This one wasn't great. There wasn't any chemistry & he kept doing this weird thing where he stuck his tongue out like he was trying to look sexy, but it was just ridiculous. Meh.

Monday was awesome. I had two more independents: one with a regular client whose session is fairly simple, but he's always respectful & I tremendously his company, & one with - get this - a body builder who liked ball busting! Yep, his huge, cut guy paid me to kick him in the balls. Amazing. I was giddy!

On Tuesday afternoon, I met a girlfriend at her studio to do a triple-Mistress session with one of her submissives. As a birthday present to himself, he wanted to pay two other Dommes join her in a medical session with him. It was basically just a faux-medical exam which ended in our pinching his nipples really hard. I think he really just wanted to be surrounded by three strong, beautiful women - who wouldn't? It wasn't particularly exciting, but he brought us gifts & tipped really well, so I can't complain.

Wednesday was another really good one. I was called in a bit early because a house client requested to see me for a smoking session. Upon meeting him, he asked me to choose another Mistress to do a double, in which we smoke cigarettes & chat with each other, ignoring him, except to ash in his mouth & let him lick the bottoms of our shoes. So I chose a pretty girl whose company I enjoy, and we did just that. He was happy with it & left a great tip. Hell yeah.

A couple hours later, I had an independent sesh with a client who, I was thrilled to find out, was young & adorable. He was a 25-year-old Indian guy who had a fantasy of being degraded & spat upon. It was his first time doing this sort of thing (I love newbies) & he was bubbling with nervous excitement. It was so freakin' cute & a lot of fun for both of us.

At 11:30 on Friday morning (crazy early for a Domme!), I had a two-hour session with an old guy who comes in every two months or so. When I say old, I mean it - like mid-seventies. He's really into humiliation, but I have a hard time being mean to an old man! And imagine trying to beat one without breaking him! Oy.

He is rather darling, though. He once told me that whenever he comes to the dungeon, he tells his wife that he's going to the city to have women beat him up, but she never believes him.

On Saturday, I came in for an indie session with a new client, knowing only that he liked feet & seemed to have good manners. I was pleased to find that he was good-looking, strong & Israeli, seemed sweet, and was game for almost anything. I gave him a helluva beating, as I greatly enjoy doing so, and rewarded him with opportunities to worship my feet.

Toward the end of the session, I had him bound to the wall and, after having choked & slapped him, he looked at my with big, green eyes & asked if he could kiss my neck. Now, any other time I'm in this situation professionally, I say absolutely not, but this time... he'd been so well-behaved I thought, "Why not?"

It was light & sweet, so I didn't give it another thought 'til he commented that I bruised easily. When asked what he meant, he pointed at me. I looked in the mirror and - WHAT THE FUCK?! - I had two big hickeys on either side of my neck. I was fucking pissed. It didn't seem like he'd meant to do it, but I hadn't had a freakin' hickey in years & I've certainly never given one by accident! Way to kill my good will. No more breaking the rules I make for myself!

That's all for now, kids! Ten days, ten clients. Always a new story.

Check back soon to read about my adventures (lifestyle, not professional) in chastity & cuckoldry!!

The Next Level

2011-06-28T16:28:00.017-04:00

*All names have been changed

As I write this, my cleaning slave is doing the dishes. He will then clean my kitchen & bathroom, dust the apartment & pay me for the privilege.

"What the fuck is a cleaning slave?" you wonder to yourself. Then, "Wait...he pays YOU?"

Well, as an openly dominant woman, men often request to clean my apartment, run my errands, or be otherwise used for my convenience. Yes, really. I get emails from strangers every day requesting the opportunity to be my cleaning slave or"house boy."

Until very recently, I would only let submissive, personal friends of mine clean for me, and not really with any regularity. Now, however, I have Jared*.

Jared first contacted me with this request in February & I said what I always do: that his becoming my cleaning slave was a possibility, however, he would first need to session with me for a while so I could get to know him. This turns off a great many impatient wannabe-slaves, but Jared came in that same day & has been seeing me once a week ever since.

He's a sweet guy, tall and red-haired, Jewish, in his late thirties & in good shape. He had wished to seek out a naturally redheaded Jewish Mistress to serve, and I seemed to fit the bill.

Our session is fairly simple: I pinch his nipples, slap his face, pull his hair & tell him how pathetic he is. He expresses confusion as to why it is that he so deeply desires this treatment, but he goes with it.

We have good chemistry & get along well, so after months of seeing him, I finally decided to let him come clean for me. My new roommate, Anna, was thrilled at the idea & asked to be there when he came over - perfect - always good to have someone else there.

I chose an afternoon & told Jared to bring cleaning supplies, a chilled bottle of Italian white wine & a wad of cash. I made very clear that this was not a session in the traditional sense. I would be wearing street clothes, he would be fully clothed the entire time & I would not be smacking him around at all.

When he arrived, I put him right to work, while Anna & I sat on the couch, chatting, drinking wine & listening to music. He cleaned for an hour, I sent him on an errand, then we chose a time for the next week & he went on his way.

My cleaning slave now comes once a week. He's happy to serve, Anna is happy to have a clean apartment & I'm thrilled to get paid for such a thing.

------

Such things have been coming together the longer I work as a pro Domme. One steadily builds a clientele, figures out how to (mostly) weed out the assholes, continues to learn new tricks & grows more confident.

Just a few weeks ago, I did my very first out-call. Due to obvious safety issues, I am very particularly about them, which is why I waited eight months to take the plunge. I still take the proper precautions by letting someone know exactly where I will be, who I am with, their information, & I check in at decided intervals.

Much like the cleaning slave situation, I get requests to do out-calls all the time. Theoretically, out-calls are great, because you charge more & get to keep all the money. But I need to know someone well before I'm comfortable enough to meet them in a hotel or residence, no matter how upscale it may be.

My client, George*, requested an out-call from the beginning, but respected my request for a reference & to have him session with me at the dungeon a few times first.

George is perhaps sixty, very smart, soft-spoken, and his session is really quite pleasant. He isn't necessarily submissive; just a fetishist. He likes feet, but not in a touchy, slobbery way - he just looks. He enjoys the company of intelligent women with pretty feet. We sit across from one another & discuss literature, history, philosophy, fetish, etc. That's it.

Every week or so, I come to his nice, doorman apartment, he greets me with a glass of wine, and we sit and talk for two hours. He pays me several hundred dollars, plus cab fare. Not too shabby, eh?

------

It may well be a while before I take on any more cleaning slaves or out-call clients, but for the moment, I am quite happy with these two. Between them & Carl*, my personal (non-work-related) slave/good friend/first experiment with chastity & cuckoldry, I am not only feeling more financially secure, but happy to be having new, mutually-beneficial experiences.

What's next? Who the fuck knows?

Photos by Ben Lazar & Ian Reid

*All names have been changed

Lesbians, Latex & Catalonia

2011-04-05T17:29:00.015-04:00

It's April in New York & still in the forties. Mother fucker.

Despite the depressing weather, I've had a mighty exciting few weeks. I found a new swinger group I quite enjoy & a fun, new playmate...see below.

I rarely go for blondes, but this one was too good to pass up. Seriously, is that ass not absolutely scrumptious? She's talented, too. Tehehe. This photo was taken about 5 minutes after we met :)

A good pal of mine was also kind enough to buy me my first latex dress. I am oh so taken with it. Not only does this dress hug my curves like a dream, it feels wildly sensual & luxurious. I finally understand why people so adore wearing latex!

The second was only a test shot, but I kinda like the forlorn look. Meh.

Now, on to Spain, glorious Spain. I just returned a few days ago...oy. Madrid was all well & good, but Barcelona stole my heart. The people, the food, the wine, the architecture - it is divine. I even found a fetish bar!

The Gaudi buildings truly blew my mind & there are many more than I'd thought. This style certainly deserves a renaissance, no?

Here is Gaudi's Park Guell (and me):

My Barcelona experience was greatly enhanced by my old high school buddy, Francisco, who has lived there for the past four years. He showed me his favorite spots, champagnerias, dance clubs & gay bars. Flirting with gals whose language I didn't speak was daunting, but in a cacophonous club, dancing says it all. Lady Gaga was playing at every single venue to which we ventured. Gaga: the universal groove.

Ohh! And here a snippet from my new piece for iVoyeur.com:

My 2010 saw some very interesting lovers—a vast potpourri of ages, genders, backgrounds and, well, talents. I used a strap-on on a barely-legal girl, while another strap-on-clad chick fucked her face. I was groped and spanked by a man in (real) clerical garments, as he recited the Lord’s Prayer. I got quadruple-teamed by lesbians at a fetish festival. I buried my face in massive porn star titties, while a dude fucked me at a swinger party. I got fisted by a trans guy in a changing room at the Dead Sea. I sat on a submissive guy’s dick, once he’d been bound, gagged, blindfolded and thoroughly beaten. I fucked another guy in the ass. A lot.

My five most fascinating fucks of the year were not necessarily the best lays, but the best stories: The Mobster, The Pegger, The Professor, The Israelis, and The Kinky Lesbian Orgy. Here’s part one of this saucy journey...

Read the whole thing here.

That's all for now, kiddos! I'll try not to stay away so long next time.

Make sure you're following me on Twitter!

Thy Kingdom Cum?

2011-02-26T17:41:00.013-05:00

Miss Ginger Answers Your Questions

Dear Ms. Millay,

Question: what Dom could resist hooking up with a priest/minister? Is this a common thing? Are there untold masses of men/women of the cloth who are really just trying to get spanked? I was discussing seminary with a mutual friend when this particular pro came up; she suggested I query you.

Cheers,
Casey

Yes, you've come to the right person. A long-time clergy fetishist, there is nothing hotter to me than the idea of playing with a man of the cloth, in a dominant or submissive role. It is so naughty, filthy & absolutely forbidden. It crosses (heh) every boundary, which, for me, is an intense turn-on, but for other people, even very kinky people, it is a hard limit.

Perhaps it's a deep-seated fear of sin or even Hell. Maybe it harkens back to school days or memories of going to mass with the family, stark & defiantly unsexy; or even just good old-fashioned Catholic (or Christian) guilt. Regardless of reason, I've had a difficult time finding play partners who want to share this fantasy. Despite its requisite naughtiness, it's not as common as one might think.

Are there untold masses of kinky clergy? Only in my wet dreams, I believe. When even basic sexual expression is prohibited, would kink be an outlet or simply unthinkable? I imagine the latter to be true although, as we've seen in recent years, not all men of the cloth are as chaste & moral their followers choose to believe. They are, after all, only human, despite being in a position in which they must deny themselves a most basic human urge.

Who knows? Some may have fantasies of being spanked or even "taken," but I imagine these thoughts would be very deeply buried, and that the need to atone for them would cancel out any desire to actually let any kink to see the light of day. Can you imagine the headlines if a priest were ever caught in a dungeon? Oh Lord.

I hope that answers your questions. Thanks a bunch, Casey!

(All men in top photo are actual priests! Hubba! The second was taken on Halloween '09, when I went as "The Walk of Shame.")

Ginger Lately

2011-02-21T21:22:00.011-05:00

Eep! I apologize for my prolonged absence, but I have some delectable goodies to make it up to you!

Firstly, you should check out the inaugural article of my column, "Salacious in the City: Kinky Life of a Professional Pervert," at iVoyeur.com. Here's a taste:

On Friday night, I attended a private play party filled with New York City’s sex-crazed, twenty-something intelligentsia, and went home with my own, personal Italian stallion. On Saturday afternoon, I went to the Museum of Sex to check out their new exhibit, “Comics Stripped.” That evening, it was off to the dungeon to wax sadistic, beating the city’s rich, powerful and (secretly) kinky. Sunday was spent in bed with one of my beautiful girlfriends. When the sun went down, the corset went on and I ventured out to one of my favorite fetish parties. Today, I write about it.

My name is Ginger and I am a professional pervert. A sex writer and dominatrix by trade, I attend all the best sex/swinger and kink/fetish parties in New York City and I’m here to clue you in, give you naughty details from the most exclusive erotic events in America’s most titillating city, divulge how I came to live this libidinous lifestyle, and suggest how you can get in on the action.

Read the rest at iVoyeur. It's a fun one!

Next, check out an article written about me for Just Out, Oregon's LGBTQ newsmagazine. My good friend, Nick Mattos, took what he remembered from our recent conversations about my new profession and wrote a piece, brilliantly titled, "Mixing Business with Leather." Here's a teaser:

“What are some of the tools of your trade?”

“Well, many are the things that people think of when they think of dominatrixes: whips, restraints, crazy-tall high heels. Other things are more obscure, like the medical equipment we use for doctor scenes—which are surprisingly popular—or the Wartenberg Wheel…”

“What the hell is that?” I ask. The corners of Ginger’s red lips curl upward as she reaches down for her purse, pulls out a black velvet jewelry case, hands it to me. I snap the box open and gasp: a stainless silver wheel with evenly spaced needles sticking out like flower petals, attached to an elegantly long handle.

“Give me your wrist,” Ginger states firmly. I look down to see my palm up on the table, my wrist exposed.

“Damn, you’re good at that,” I comment amusedly.

“I’m no amateur,” she laughs. I close my eyes as she brings the wheel to my wrist, feel a line of needle pricks going up the length of my arm slowly. The sensation is somewhere between an acupuncture needle and a rush of cold air against my skin, and a shiver runs the length of my spine in response.

How did our conversation get to this point? What happened next? Read it here!

Finally, what you probably came for: photos! Naughty school girl photos, to be precise...

Hehe, I love the last one, "Caught masturbating in the closet!" Heh. All photos are by Ian Reid, except the one in the mirror, which is by Ben L.

Analobster V-day

2011-02-06T12:58:00.003-05:00

With Valentine's Day right around the bend, many of you are surely dreading the forced, syrupy "romance" it brings. Guys feel guilted into spending shit-tons of cash on flowers, overpriced holiday dinners, and cheesy romantic crap that society has told women to expect... most women, that is.

Me? I like to keep it simple, hence my tradition of Analobster V-day. My favorite lover & I buy two lobsters, a bottle of Champagne & a loaf of Cuban or Italian bread. Just boil the lobsters and feast! After we've digested a bit, it's time for some wild fucking. This is the perfect day for anal sex. Not only is it wicked hot & naughty, but also requires trust & communication. That's Valentiney, right?

If anal is off the table or so common that it's become old-hat, try something else. V-day is the ideal time to try new things in bed, be it role playing, bondage, or even pegging. Due to the holiday, partners should (theoretically) be a little more open-minded, so don't miss the opportunity!

Sex toys make great V-day gifts, as well. Some chicks may bitch that they aren't traditionally romantic, but an investment in your sex life is an investment a healthy relationship. Duh. If that doesn't catch, well, pour another glass of Champagne & watch the lobster scene from Annie Hall. That's romance, baby; quirky, but true.

Wanna give me a V-day gift? I'm DYING for this Jimmyjane vibrator!

I had a gay old time

2011-01-31T19:04:00.013-05:00

Travels of Ginger Millay
PART ONE

My complexion reflects my last few days of minimal sleep & copious amounts gin, Champagne n' a touch of that glorious West Coast weed. Now, highly-caffeinated on the first leg of my journey back to New York, I have time to ponder my now-annual journey to the Pacific Northwest, where I spent my college years.

The trek affords me two important things NYC does not: attention from a bouquet of lovely lesbians in Portland, OR & amazing, no-fuss sex with the ol' fuck buddy in Olympia, WA (just outside Seattle).

Though I'd eventually tire of the stubborn gray skies, slow pace & hippy-dippy attitude so pervasive in this region, I adore a quick visit. Tiny Olympia no longer contains the cronies with whom I attended university, but one of my favorite people still resides in Washington's sleepy capitol.

Mmmmm. John still makes me shiver & writhe every time he gets me between the sheets, regardless how much time has passed. I'm getting tingly just thinking about him...damn the lack of masturbatory options on airplanes!

John was my fuck buddy for a year before I moved back East & I've yet to find a satisfactory replacement. One might think this would be easy, but the elusive combination of interesting, intelligent, dependable, fantastic in bed & drama-free is such a rarity.

As always, it was ecstatic. Good conversation, no mind games and some of the best sex I've ever had. Our encounters are fairly vanilla, but completely, wildly satisfying. I don't always need the kink; I get that back home. Particularly after my last few tepid sexual encounters, John was such a treat. Dom Perignon in a flannel shirt.

But this John business isn't very gay, now is it? That, my lovelies, is what Portland is for. For years, I've had consistently good luck with Portland women. In the city of bike-riding, hipster vegetarians, I'm a magnet for pretty, single gals-who-like-gals. Go fig.

Curses. Mrs. Judgmental Jersey is reading over my shoulder & looking mortified, so that's enough for now. Check back soon for some lezzie lovin'!!

Naughty Librarian

2011-01-26T11:20:00.004-05:00

Another photo shoot with Ben L...

Impermanence, cont.

2011-01-18T21:35:00.015-05:00

Missed part one? Read it here.

When I left you, dear reader, Jack & I had decided to tattoo a scratch mark down his hip bone & were heading back to my apartment to give him one final beating before he moved back to England. If you missed part one, read it here. Now, onward:

Jack & I emerged 2 hours later, spent. Red, raw claw marks decorated his torso. Our last play sesh was intense, as it should be; a proper farewell, like a really wild, intimate fuck, if that had been the nature of our relationship. Knowing I'd never again watch him cower and squirm under my sadistic reign, I let loose as I never had before. Thank Buddha no roommates were home - even a panty gag wrapped in electrical tape can't muffle everything.

Exhausted though we were, plunging back out into the freezing night air, a giddiness boiled in us over what lay ahead: his tattooing. It was to be a magnificent end to our tale; our happily, separately, ever after.

On the train, our eyes glazed as we absentmindedly clutched each other & occasionally giggled about what was to come. Charging toward the Williamsburg tattoo parlor, I took a moment to double-check that he unquestioningly desired to put this permanent mark on his body; make it clear that I was not forcing him to do so, despite that having been his fantasy. After he claimed he was absolutely certain, we ducked inside.

Talk about too-cool-for-school, this place; all gem-covered mannequins, car parts & utterly-hip beautiful people. Jack & I navel-gazed all the way upstairs, sporting our (unplanned) matching dark jeans & argyle sweaters.

Once settled on a red, velvet divan, I puffed myself up & directed Jack to sit on the leopard-print floor. When our model/tattoo artist (!) sauntered over & asked what sort of tattoo Jack wanted, I launched into my clumsy explanation:

"Well, we're in a sort of sadomasochistic relationship & he is my sub. I often leave scratch marks on his hip bones, so we decided to make one of them permanent..."

She seemed down with the idea 'til I pulled up his shirt to show where we wanted the tattoo & her face fell. She stated what I wish like hell I'd had the forethought to realize: that she couldn't tattoo anywhere near the scratch marks I'd just left on him. If they, or the tattoo, became infected, she'd be liable.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

She said we could come back in a week, but that obviously was not an option. My persuasive powers failed me & Jack n' I couldn't come up with anything else that seemed just right. Dejected, we went in search of the nearest pub.

Frowning & gulping Brooklyn Lager, we stared at each other. Oh well. That fucking blows. Sigh, drink, repeat. He brought up perhaps getting the tattoo on his own in London, but...the moment would have passed. Still no comparable tattoo ideas in sight, we had to give it up.

A few minutes later, we lingered outside, teasing at good-bye. He thanked me for everything, looking after him, introducing him to the scene, being his first Domme. We kissed. He got teary. I smiled. We kissed again. I said good night, squeezed his hand, and walked down the street. Turning the corner, I saw him standing where I'd left him, looking all forlorn. I marched onward, hoping he wouldn't do the movie thing & run after me for one last embrace. Luckily, he's not that cheesy.

Our affair was fun, but now it's done. Except the tattoo, regrets are none.

"Impermanence and change are the undeniable truths of our existence. What is real is the existing moment, the present that is a product of the past, or a result of the previous causes and actions. Because of ignorance, an ordinary mind conceives them all to be part of one continuous reality." UrbanDharma.org

OkCupid's "gay privacy feature"

2011-01-16T19:17:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I received an email from online dating site OkCupid, which I haven't used in two years. Why the totally random message? The website was super-psyched to share their new "gay privacy feature!"

What the hell?

You can now hide your OkCupid profile from straight users. This means straight people can't find you in match results (even if they search for gay women), and they can't load your profile page.

Why turn this privacy setting on?

• maybe you're not out to everyone yet
• maybe you don't want straight dudes hitting on you
• maybe you enjoy clicking checkboxes on web pages

You just thought of this OKC? Really?

It's still unlikely to bring gay users to your site - why would queer folks want to sift through the same tremulous water as breeders? During my brief time as a member, however, I did bemoan the lack of lesbians & glut of bi-cuz-guys-like-it bimbos, so I guess it doesn't hurt to try. What lesbian wants straight dudes breathing down her cyber-neck?

One small step for internet dating; one giant shrug from dykes who don't use the site anyway.

Impermanence

2011-01-11T13:07:00.009-05:00

"Decay is inherent in all component things," proffered the Buddha. Everything is subject to change; existence is in flux, a constant becoming.

The (near) permanence of tattoos is what makes them so appealing and, often, regrettable. You walk in, all brave and cocksure, certain that you want to endure temporary pain to have a design forever etched into your skin. Hopefully, that will be the case.

I have never regretted the symbol of Venus I got tattooed onto my wrist (see right) when I was 18-years-old. Not necessarily sure I would do it again, but it does seem to be appealing to clients in my current line of work.

None of this had yet entered my mind as I walked through the West Village on Sunday. Remember my young, submissive Brit, Jack? It was his last day in the states before his visa expired, and I wanted to give him some sort of memento. I was his first Domme, after all, and he'd trusted me to enact his lifelong fantasy. I'd grown quite fond of the little bugger, despite his being a bit callow & quite cheeky.

Barrelling down 8th Avenue, the winter wind whipping my face, it clicked: Jack had mentioned early on that he had a fantasy of being tattooed or branded by a Domina. Purr-fect.

We met at Grounded (they make lattes with coconut milk!!) & Jack handed me a bag from Agent Provocateur. I thanked him for the gorgeous seamed thigh-highs, then tentatively brought up the tattoo idea. He grinned like a boy getting his first blowjob, and clenched his fists, thrilled. Awesome. Now to figure out what the hell to tattoo on the kid.

We sifted through a series of lukewarm ideas at the coffee shop & all the way back to my apartment, before finally landing on the winner: a permanent copy of one of my scratch marks on his hip bone. One of my favorite spots, I'd often left sadistic scrapes down his oh-so-prominent hip bones. I adore hipbones, both men’s & women’s. I’m like Catwoman, bitches – my victims carry my mark.

I hoped this tattoo would be a fun souvenir, but not enough to scare off any future Dommes, girlfriends, etc. by being too Ginger-centric.

I didn't want to own Jack, after all. I knew I would never fall in love with him. Adorable as he is, Jack couldn’t arouse my passion. He was my submissive trainee; a masochistic play thing; a close, but temporary friend. I knew from the start that we only had 90 days & while it was a bummer to see him go, if he stuck around, it would inevitably end. Nothing gold can stay & whatnot.

But these sorts of separations are always more romantic anyway, or in this case, at least poetic. Geographical issues end things so neatly, tied up with a happy, little bow. This way, you can remember each other fondly, without the malice which often attends a break-up.

We made an appointment with a hot, fetish model to do his tattoo that evening, then prepared for our final play time. (In kinky speak, that means "beating")

...to be continued!

(another) Photo Friday

2011-01-07T19:06:00.013-05:00

Goodness, I've been such a photo slut lately!

Here are a few by Ben L:

And some more by Mr. Becker:

Tasting The Stars

2010-12-31T14:20:00.002-05:00

Oh, how I adore Champagne!

In 17th century France, a monk named Dom Perignon found he'd accidentally made a wine that sparkled. His words of excitement remain the most eloquent of toasts: "Come quickly! I am tasting the stars!"

A great amount of Champagne will be consumed tonight, as 2010 comes to a close. As midnight approaches, the masses celebrate & bubbly tickles out palates, I'll be taking a break from my kinky wonderland to kiss a lucky boy.

Meet my festive beverage of the evening:

Miss Ginger's Champagne Cocktail -
Champagne (The real stuff)
Splash of peach liqueur
Stick of peeled, fresh ginger

Simple, luxurious, fantastic.

Drink up, lovies. Happy 2011!

A Readerly Au Revoir

2010-12-25T23:05:00.020-05:00

to 2010

Time for another Miss Ginger tradition: the annual list o' my favorite books. In years past, I've had a difficult time whittling my choices down to a dozen. This year, however, though I've done no less reading, I had a tough time coming up with ten contenders. Here's hoping 2011 brings more fantastic reads my way! In the mean time, here are the books which pushed beyond the tedium:
(in no particular order)

1) Bel Canto (Ann Patchett) - First work of fiction that I've adored in quite a long time

2) No One Belongs Here More Than You (Miranda July) - Lovely & awkward, just as you might expect

3) Lolita (Vladimir Nabokov) - How had I never read this?!

4) Stand Still Like The Hummingbird (Henry Miller) - Collection of essays written throughout Miller's life. He grew considerably more introspective as he aged; no more "cunt" this, "prick" that & "whore" everything.

5) Shadow of the Wind (Carlos Ruiz Zafon) - Another stellar, luscious work of fiction

6) Venus in Furs (Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch) - Kinda had to...

7) Mae West: It Ain't No Sin (Simon Louvish) - What a fabulously ballsy broad. Mae paved the way.

8) Side Effects (Woody Allen) - I inherited all my dad's Woody Allen books, along with his Tom Robbins & Kurt Vonnegut.

9) My Booky Wook (Russell Brand) - This one's a wild card. I'm only about a third of the way through & certainly it ain't a thinker, but he is pretty damn entertaining.

10) Americans in Paris: A Literary Anthology (Adam Gopnik) - Of course one of my very favorite living writers chose to tackle the subject of my obsession...swoon.

That's it, kids! Please check out last year's list, too, & get cracking. READING IS SEXY!

Dating Vernacular, cont.

2010-12-20T21:19:00.002-05:00

PART TWO
(Again, no - you're not nuts. This has been reposted a couple times in the past few years.)

Sadistwat - the spikes surrounding a vagina which was shaven a few days ago

Schtunk or Swim - the first moment in a relationship when one must choose between doing what they want and doing what will be best for the relationship

Sibling Sidestep - realizing that your partner's sibling is really attractive and having to pretend they aren't

Slick Dick - when an such an abundance of lube is applied that the one-eyed monster keeps slipping out of the cave

Slide Effect - finding any excuse to lean into/against a person

Stinkwithme - the act of getting your date to eat some garlic, onions or other stinky food so you’re not the only one with bad breath

Sushigasm – when your date takes a bite of really good sushi and you immediately know how they will look when they orgasm

"They" Game - a queer person's attempt at masking the gender of the person they are dating or have dated by never using gender-specific pronouns

TNT (Tits Not Tummy) - When spooning a girl, your hand will naturally lands at her belly. Most gals are uncomfortable with their tummies, so they certainly don’t want them to be held, no matter how sweet the intention. Grab her boob instead! Isn’t that more fun anyway?

Tunglungluhh – when someone sticks their tongue in your mouth and takes entirely too long to remove it

Wandering Schlemeil – a guy who tries (poorly) to mask the fact that he's looking at other women

Wankaroodle – a stupid question one asks without expecting a response
Ex. “Does the carpet match the drapes?”

Whirling Narcissus – the hectic few minutes in which a girl finishes prepping herself before a big night out

Photo Friday!

2010-12-17T19:24:00.002-05:00

Hello, my lovelies! Here's a lil' teaser from my recent shoot with Ian Reid:

These were taken by Bernhard at LSDS:

And I have two more shoots scheduled before I leave town on Wednesday...EEP!

Dating Vernacular

2010-12-10T19:32:00.000-05:00

PART ONE
(I've posted some version of this every year-&-a-half or so, but don't grumble if it looks familiar - it's for the new readers, not you)

Adorabstinence – the decision to wait a while before having sex with someone you really like

Analiff - a bargaining mechanism used to convince a partner to have anal sex;
ex. "If you have anal with me, I'll..."

Blowtard – one who performs fellatio with no talent or enthusiasm whatsoever

Butbutbut – the last-ditch effort of trying to persuade someone to sleep with you

Cacophonaut – a girl who is pleasing to the eye, but torture to the ear

Carnastrophe – the uncomfortable moment when a vegetarian realizes they are on a date with a meateater & the meateater realizes they are out with someone who won't eat a fucking burger

Cumpeewithmee – the phenomenon of women going to the bathroom in groups

Dunnopher – a guy who claims he's straight, but you're unsure

Ejacattack – when ejaculate gets in an unfortunate location; ex. eye, nose, etc.

Heebwood – the phenomenon of Jewish men immediately becoming attracted upon discovering that you, too, are a chosen person

Joe Blow - Coffee and a blow job: the perfect way to start your day

Lost at V - the unfortunate predicament of having a condom come off inside a girl and needing to poke around in search of it

Monogabite (aka "being bitten by the monogamy bug") - when you're not necessarily looking for a relationship, but meet someone with whom it works and monogamy naturally occurs

Na'an Dilemma - not being able to fool around because you've eaten way too much delicious food

Nostalgoverload – when your date talks at length about a play they put on in 7th grade or some other memory which by no means warrants your attention

Oh Oh Okay - an orgasm which is faked so he’ll just stop trying already

Picky Eater – a hint that someone is bad in bed: won't try new foods, won't try new things in bed

Stay tuned for PART TWO!!

My (sexy) Wish List

2010-12-05T22:15:00.032-05:00

As we're midway through Hanukkah & barrelling toward X-mas, it's high time I posted my wish list!

Latex basque (red, corsetty, gorgeous) ->

Sexy-ass latex leggings

Tailored latex dress

AMAZING vibrator

Vibrating butt plug!

Beautiful black corset

Long satin gloves

Stunning retro shaper (LOVE vintage lingerie!) ->

My favorite Champagne, Veuve Clicquot

Adjustable nipple clamps

Leather wrist/ankle cuffs

Slapper!

Spreader bar

Pinwheel (scary-looking sensation toy) ->

If you need details or have any questions, email me at GingerMillay@gmail.com.

Merci beaucoup, mes cheries! Here's a little sexy inspiration ;)

"Hot in 2010," cont.

2010-12-02T13:20:00.010-05:00

PART TWO (Missed part one? Read it here)
The Gals

Dita Von Teese - Holy blintzes, how haven't I included Dita in a hot list before?! I've written about her a bunch of times! So here we go: the burlesque superstar & goddess of glamorous retro style has shown that beauty can undoubtedly deviate from the Hollywood norm. I love that she has finally become a household name. Rock on, Miss Dita!

Cecilia Cane - The first of two New Yorkers on my list & the only one I know personally, Cecilia may well be the next Dita, albeit more modern & sadistic. The stunning fetish model, burlesque dancer, pro domme & general badass is undoubtedly one of the sexiest and, yes, intimidating ladies in the big apple.

Monica Bellucci - I believe this actress may be the most beautiful woman in the world. Appearing in Italian, French & American films, the stunner is not only gorgeous & talented, but also incredibly intelligent - triple threat! Oddly enough, my PG-rated, 2008 declaration that Bellucci & her husband, Vincent Cassel, would be in my ultimate threesome is what made Google pull my ads & put the warning in front of my blog. Bizarre, eh?

Rabbi Rachel Weiss - The new rabbi at Congregation Beit Simchat Torah is brilliant and - huzzah! - a lesbian. There have been female rabbis for a while, but leave it to NYC's LBGT community synagogue to bring in a queer one! This year also marked the first time a woman has ever been ordained a - gasp! - orthodox rabbi, despite much hullabaloo. So thumbs up to Sara Hurwitz, too! Kosher pussy power!

Alison Brie - I have to admit I barely noticed Brie as a clueless housewife on Mad Men, but she's been impossible to miss as a adorably neurotic student on Community. Props to the lovely, young actress for landing roles in two Emmy-nominated series at once. And, to top it all off, she's Jewish! (My Bubbi programmed me to always point out members of the tribe)

That's it, kids! Hope you enjoyed this year's list & check back soon for my annual books o' the year list.

Want more? Check out my picks for 2008 & 2009!

Quelle timing

2010-11-29T21:09:00.012-05:00

Part one, the present

"You're gonna be okay. Everything'll be all right. It's gonna work out fine. Y'all are gonna be all right."

I usually hate it when people stand up & talk to the train, but this guy seems kinda genuine. Amazingly, he doesn't even appear to be asking for money. As I smile at this unusual moment, a man standing in front of my farts directly in my face. That's New York City for ya.

Get off at 14th street, walk to the L. I'm a Brooklyn girl now. Why does this stop on this line only ever open one door on each train? Peculiar.

Choose a near-empty car & enter to find a homeless man standing beside a smelly puddle. He looks at me with the face of a frightened child. Next car. I was told early on to avoid empty trains, as they're likely smelly or otherwise gross. I've found this to be relentlessly true.

Get off at Bedford Ave. (up to this point, I'd been writing on my iPhone) & turn the corner. Walk up two flight of stairs, open my apartment door and - holy shit! - a jack russell terrier runs in! I look back, but see no owner, so I leave the door open & grab mister terrier's leash. When I turn back, I see an pink-haired old woman trudging up the stairs, with another dog in her arms. As I hand her the leash, she thanks me and sighs, "Thank god you not have cat."

Yep. So now I'm home.

Part two, the past

On Saturday evening, I went to visit a Manhattan dungeon where a lovely girlfriend of mine works. I really liked it & was told they'd be happy for me to join. That's right: starting on Monday, I'm a professional dominatrix.

I left glowing, but late for my dinner reservation in the Village. Luckily, I wasn't too late, so another pal & I enjoyed tapas & a bottle of Tempranillo. We then walked to the Soho Playhouse, where I finally saw Baby Wants Candy, an entirely-improvised musical. Funny stuff.

Upon my arrival home, just after midnight, I got a call from a bunch of kinksters who were at a bar 3 blocks away...why not? I joined them for a drink at a charming dive, rightfully named Trash. From there we walked a few more blocks to go dancing. By the end, I was sober, but tired as hell, though very excited because I got to dance/make out with one of the hottest gals in the scene.

Cut to Sunday morning.

Throat hurts, body aches & I have a mother fucking fever?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! How did I go from perfectly healthy to sick as hell overnight? FUCK!

After trying to sleep it off all day, I decided to skip that night's party, despite my having been looking forward to for weeks. Attempting to regain my health for my first day of work was the best idea, but I wanted to see the damn jello wrestling! And debut my thigh-high leather boots! And walk little Jack around on a leash all night! Urgh.

But I did the grown-up thing. I stayed in bed with tea, Emergen-C & hot n' sour soup. I got as much sleep as possible.

This morning, I was even worse. Doctor time. He said it's tonsilitis which, I know from experience, hurts for days even after you start antibiotics. I was told I'd still be contagious for 24 hours after I started the meds.

Fucking great. First fucking day at a new job. I offered to come in anyway, but they said I should just take it easy & come in tomorrow afternoon. I was kinda relieved, but felt like a total douche. Quelle timing.

Part three, back to present

So I start tomorrow. I gathered all my sexy outfits for my photoshoot. I am really, really excited. I just hope I don't feel like death, 'cause I'm going anyway - even if I can't talk. "Silent Killer," perhaps? We shall see.

A Room of One's Own

2010-11-27T15:36:00.007-05:00

In the heart of the hipster wilderness of Williamsburg, lies a lovely studio apartment, filled with mid-century modern furniture and more books than I could read in a year. I wake each morning on a lavender-scented bed, grinning. (That's me on the left, just after waking up)

Hallelujah! For the first time since moving to NY, I am living by myself, even if only for a while. How wonderful it feels to lead a solo home life once again, only occasionally inviting guests so join in.

Instead of loneliness, I see an opportunity to spend time with my authentic self. I feel gloriously free, full & inspired, despite the fact that the city dims at 4:00 - way to ward off the winter blues!

I can play jazz at all hours, walk around naked, leave dishes in the sink, even blindfold & tie a naughty sub to the radiator for as long as I please! (see right)

This has lead me to search for ways to continue my solitary existence after my sublet ends (welcome to New York). Do I seek another shitty 9-5? Something more creative, which pays less? Do I finally give in & become a professional dominatrix?

I'm seriously considering the latter, at the moment. I do the domme thing anyway, after all. Now come the big questions: is the money really that good? Do I rent a space & freelance or work at a dungeon? Would this screw me up career-wise for the rest of my life? We shall see.

For the moment, I just feel content. It's a nice change.

Miss Ginger's "Hot in 2010"

2010-11-26T14:36:00.009-05:00

PART ONE
The Fellas

It's that time of year, kids. Enjoy a tasty scoop of Miss Ginger tradition!

Anthony Weiner - Sure, the veteran New York congressman may be an unusual choice, but his passionate, progressive stances on issues such as health care and women's rights have earned him a spot at the top of my list.

Doland Glover - This adorable comedian, actor & rapper (so wikipedia tells me!) just came to national attention last year as the bro-mantical funny man on NBC's Community. And, ya know, he's super cute.

Bryce Pinkham - Each year, I list a Broadway crush, but this is the first time it's been a boy! Pinkham's performance the brand new Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson blew me away. The whole production was fantastic - go see it!

Rahm Emanuel - Love him or hate him, Rahm Emanuel is one sexy mother fucker. I think he's smokin' hot & imagine he might be a bit kinky, as well...

Neil Patrick Harris - Yeah, I know he doesn't play for my team, but who gives a shit? This brilliant actor of stage & screen has proven not only that a child actor can become a sane, successful adult, but that coming out of the closet doesn't necessarily relegate a performer to queer roles.

Stay tuned for PART TWO, "The Gals."

Want more? Check out my picks for 2008 & 2009!

Hedonism as drug

2010-11-19T01:43:00.024-05:00

Quarter 'til two in the morning and, yet again, I'm lusting after vintage dresses & quirky, handmade jewelry. Sometimes, it's downtown apartments or fancy sex toys I cannot afford. It might be skinny girls I will never fuck. They'd probably suck in bed anyway.

Pfft.

Why lose sleep over things I cannot have, when I could be cleaning or writing (ahem) or collaging or masturbating? Why this continual desire to collect adornments instead of cultivating what I already have?

Here I sit, stuffed elephant in my lap (true story) & ginger tea by my side, shooting the shit with myself. Marvel at how pink my crotch always gets the day I have a Brazilian wax. Wonder why I felt compelled to have phone sex with a hot guy I'll never want to date. Hope all the vitamin C & Airborne I've imbibed today will have me feeling healthier tomorrow. Want to make my coffee date with that cute girl & the kinky party later that evening.

As my calendar becomes clogged with sexy New York parties & my bouquet of young playmates continues to expand, I realize many people would envy this lifestyle. Sure, I'm blessed with endless opportunities to have my every fantasy fulfilled; but they are just like the pretty things I mindlessly crave long after everyone else is snoring.

It is never enough. I'll eventually desire a softer sweater, a better location, a stronger vibrator, a smarter/sexier/more intuitive lover, a more perverse fantasy scenario.

I will be the hungry ghost, aching for more & more.

I'm not yet ready to stop or even take a break, but it may be time for me to sit - away from the computer, the train, the drinks & distractions. Take time between my indulgences to sit with myself. No planning, learning or yearning. Just breathing. Being.

I am a hedonistic woman & feel no shame in that, but if I jump from one fix to the next, I cannot appreciate these experiences, or ever feel - gulp - satisfied.

It seems time to invite yoga or some form of meditation into my life. I haven't done any in the more-than-two years since my father passed away and I moved to New York. Back in Washington state, I used to teach yoga. For years, it was such an integral part of my life. Now, it is only a memory...but a fond one.

The pace of this city is wildly rapid, and with so many infinite ways to stimulate the senses, it's easy to get washed away in the riptide. I think it's time to remember how to simply float. Occasionally, anyway.

BDSM Bad Advice (dot com)

2010-11-01T17:20:00.016-04:00

And a lil' shameless self-promotion...

I've been following the consistently hilarious BDSM Bad Advice on Twitter for a while, so I'm excited to see their brand spankin' new site featuring original webcomics. Check 'em out!!

A few choice tweets:

Find voting boring? Spice it up. Go to the polls in a diaper or leave a butt plug in the booth for the next voter to find.

Slaves accidentally call the wrong person Master sometimes. To avoid awkward mishaps at work, just call everyone Master.

Realistic portrayals of gay Leathermen are rare in online erotica, but most Full House slashfic has it spot on.

Mindfucking is a lot of fun. It involves gouging out eyeballs and directly sodomizing the brain.

It's a social disaster when two guys show up to the men's dungeon party wearing the same black jockstrap.

Funny stuff! You should join Twitter & follow them - now, bitches! And while you're at it, follow ME, MyGingersnaps.

Here's a taste:

Already voted...what now? Browsing the post-Halloween sales for sexy nun costumes, of course!

THIS is rope done right! Stunning! (and the model ain't bad either) http://twitpic.com/332ko7

A porn star called me a cock hog last night which, though it's untrue, is REALLY funny :)

Sex positivity lecture at Columbia, then a mini spank session in an empty classroom....tehehe, hot.

Rusty Cock Ridge posted a photo of my '07 Halloween costume: Shirley Temple. Just wish my lollipop weren't backwards! http://twitpic.com/30l8aw

Dominatrix In The Park

2010-10-26T18:26:00.014-04:00

We entered Central Park arm in arm, just after dusk. Having just moved to the city a week prior, it was Jack's first time. He marveled at the park's size, as I chuckled at my new British friend's constant use of the word "quite."

Jack and I had met on his second day in the states, at a casual meet-up of BDSM enthusiasts. I marveled at the confidence it took for a boy barely old enough to drink to show up by himself; and to introduce himself as a submissive man, a masochist, excited by female domination, though fairly inexperienced.

As we wandered through the park on that unseasonably warm autumn evening, I realized that we had met to chat a couple times, but I'd yet to give him a taste of what I knew he craved. When we turned a corner, cloaked in darkness and the privacy of trees, I grabbed him by the hair and pulled him behind a massive oak.

I threw Jack's shoulders against the trunk and I saw his brown eyes wide with excitement and fear. I pinned his hands above his head, then lifted his shirt and scraped my nails down his chest. I ordered him to leave his hands behind his head and lightly ran my fingernails all over his torso, finally hooking my thumbs around his hip bones and digging them into his skin.

He yelped in pain, flinching and moving his hands from their perch. I shoved them back with one hand and grabbed his throat with the other.

"I told you to keep your hands above your head."
He stared at me, saucer-eyed.
"What do you say?" I let go of his throat and slapped his face. "What do you say?"
"I'm sorry...Mistress," he stammered.
"You will do as you're told, got it?" I whispered, kissing his neck, then biting his collarbone, down to his shoulder.
"Yes," he hissed.
"Good." I smacked his cheek again. "Don't move."

I made a slow circle around the tree. As I turned the other side, I saw him move to look for me. I emerged, shoving his back against the bark and grabbed his nipples, pinching, then twisting them, as he groaned with his mouth gaping.

"You need to learn to follow directions," I said, giggling at his agony. Then I grabbed his throat with both hands. "You'll learn to be a good boy, right?" He just stared & I tightened my grip. "Right?"

When he nodded, I released, scraped my fingernails down his sides one last time, then kissed the scratch marks. I took his hands down, put them around me and kissed him. It took him a moment to realize his preview was over and kiss me back.

I kept our embrace brief, then I turned and walked toward the main trail. He eventually got the hint and scurried along beside. I offered my arm, which he took, still gazing at me, shellshocked. We sat at the next bench.

I put my arm around him and ran my fingers through his hair, as he laid his head on my shoulder. After a minute of silence, I asked if that was a good introduction.

"Yes, mistress." He lifted his head with a huge grin. "Amazing."

"The Human Sexipede"

2010-10-13T19:00:00.016-04:00

Worst. Idea. Ever.

Yep, they went there. The porno gods have squeezed stag films out of every pop icon from Lindsay Lohan to Lucille Ball, Avatar to Happy Days, but The Human Sexipede is the first to shock me.

It takes titanium balls - not to mention seriously questionable judgment - to turn The Human Centipede, a gross-out horror flick about a mad scientist who connects three people via their gastrointestinal tracts, into something that will give you a boner.

Tom Byron Pictures and writer/director Lee Roy Myers have taken on that task and, as a parody 'ought to be, it's actually kind of funny. I imagine anyone who decides to watch The Human Sexipede is doing so more out of curiosity than a desire to jack-off anyway.

So how the hell did they make this gag-inducing tale into an excuse for people to fuck for the camera? As you might guess, it involves a lot of oral sex. German "sexual scientist" Dr. Heiter decides to create a being who experiences infinite sexual pleasure. He chooses to accomplish this by connecting three people, mouth-to-genitals, just after they've achieved orgasm.

Nope, it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't have to. The film opens at the "Hasselhoff Hotel," after all, and features such gems as, "My whole life will be lived as a mutant — but I'll get to come all the time. So that's pretty cool."

Basically, it's a bunch of bad actors schtupping in faux-medical facilities, and just enough fuck-flashbacks to move the storyline along. The culmination, of course, is a threesome which is the movie's namesake.

Yes, it is ridiculous. No, I don't recommend it... but I think it's hilarious that The Human Sexipede was actually produced.

WORST. IDEA. EVER.

Rock Out w/ Your "Jacques" Out

2010-10-06T17:16:00.002-04:00

Silly hipsters make some great vintage-inspired erotica

I'm a big fat fan of Jacques, the sexy new pin-up magazine, despite the ridiculous hipsters who make it. Hot is still hot, and this retro - think '70s Playboy - is seriously hot. What I adore about vintage porn are the real bodies and untouched photographs & the kids at Jacques have nailed it. You just have to look past his Joaquin-Phoenix-on-Letterman look, her Zooey-Deschanel-styled-by-bag-lady, and their defamation of the hardcore stuff... it gets me off, thank you very much!

All joking aside, the finished product is magnificent and very welcome amongst the throngs of fake boobies & airbrush disasters. It ain't porn, but it is some damn good erotica. Well done, fuckers.

Ginger on the Bottom

2010-10-04T17:50:00.009-04:00

PART ONE

A grin spreads across my face every time I look down at the red hand print on my inner thigh. That's the mark of a fun night.

I didn't have any particular expectations as I walked down 34th street in the rain last night, my cohort holding a polka dot umbrella over both our heads. Oscar was giddy in anticipation of his first fetish party and I was glad to bring him along. My old friend would only be in town for a week and I didn't want to frighten him early on, so I thought this small-ish, private party - comprised solely of people under 35 - would make a fine introduction to the scene.

Though I hadn't been out in a few weeks, this sort of thing was old hat for me, but Oscar was a different story. He, like most people first attending a fetish, swinger, or any sort of sexy party, expect something out of "Eyes Wide Shut." I guess that's the only pop culture reference in existence. Bummer. Oscar's a curious, open-minded fellow with a deviant streak, but when pressed earlier that day to name a fetish, could only come with with "men in briefs". And "guys who shoot a lot of come."

Upon arrival, we went inside to find a few people waiting for the elevator. Introductions were made, as the guests sized each other up, wondering what sort of filth these strangers would get up to in the next few hours. The elevator door opened to a dark, candlelit room. While a gentleman in a suit collected our coats from Oscar, the hostess, my good friend Anya, popped out wearing a big smile and some wildly sexy, black lingerie.

As Anya gave us a tour of the space, I was mesmerized by the view of Anya herself: black heels, thigh-high stockings, garter belt, panties and a black corset, which thrust her already-bountiful breasts to magnificent heights. And yes, the venue was lovely, too.

Oscar's face lit up when we came upon two very handsome, young men - a blond and a brunet - standing behind a mahogany bar. The blond, my pal Lucas, greeted us and introduced us to Dexter, who would be bartending. We were each poured amaretto sours and toasted to a crazy night, as more guests arrived by the elevator-full.

Within minutes, the couches were full of mingling kinksters, semi-nude women were being tied up and suspended for all to see, and the percussion of hand-to-flesh rung out in a cacophonous concerto.

After making the rounds, Anya found me for a quick game of catch-up. In the midst of our conversation, I blurted out that she looked hot and I'd love if she gave me a spanking later. She squealed and grabbed my hands, saying she'd love to. Awesome.

As I walked to the bar to top off my drink, Lucas sauntered over and mentioned that he wanted to find a cute girl to top. Ding! I told him that Anya and I had a spank session lined up, and I'd be happy for him to join in. He gave a mischievous smile, and ran off to talk details with Anya.

Holy. Crap.

Now, the vast majority of the time, I top, meaning I play the dominant role, do the smacking, bossing around, etc. On rare occasions, however, bottoming has quite an appeal - like when two gorgeous people who usually bottom gang up to teach me how the other half lives... Really, really exciting, and just a teensy bit nerve wracking.

Tune in next time, when I check out homemade fuck machines, flirt with the woman of my dreams and get double-teamed by the devious duo!!

Happy Hump Day

2010-05-12T13:40:00.005-04:00

I love this photo! It's just one of a series published in V Magazine, which features beautiful women in and out of clothing. I chose the one in a medical office for obvious, fetishy reasons...

I'm back! And talking butt sex!

2010-05-08T12:01:00.009-04:00

Hello, my lovelies! I apologize for my prolonged absence I've been focusing so much on non-sex-related work stuff, that I forgot my little blog. Eep!

Well, I'm back, thanks to Alfie, my editor at Creative Loafing (which I'd also been ignoring). When he recently asked me to record a podcast with him, I couldn't refuse! I'd never done a podcast before, but I do love trying new things & it was pretty damn fun. Talking about sex is, of course, one of very favorite things. We had a chat about sex in the news, then moved on to the main topic: butt sex!

Give it a listen & let me know what you think!

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter!!

The Greatest Condom in the World

2010-04-09T00:42:00.002-04:00

Most people agree that condoms suck. Although necessary, prophylactics inhibit sensation, suck up lubrication, and can even dampen the mood. Love gloves are worth the trouble for their protection against pregnancy and sexually-transmitted infections, but they still generally suck.

Luckily, not all rubbers are created equal. New shapes, lubricants and materials are constantly being developed to provide a more natural, pleasurable, safe-sex experience — and they’re not necessarily the ones advertised on TV.

Read the rest of my article at Creative Loafing!!

Gay, Famous, Naked, Male

2010-03-23T12:50:00.009-04:00

Okay, okay, I know I don't usually have naked dudes on here, but I find these kinda fascinating.

This photo of Beat poets, Allen Ginsberg and Peter Orlovsky, snapped by by Richard Avedon, recently sold for $8,500.

The below self-portrait of Robert Mapplethorpe, in full fetish gear, went for $6,600. (please excuse the hairy asshole - it's retro, after all)

So Cosmo Discovered Geeks

2010-03-22T21:08:00.007-04:00

PART ONE

Cosmopolitan magazine finally discovered that jocks aren't the only men worth dating. Unfortunately, that's the only part they got right.

There's been a big to-do over Cosmo's absurdly-titled article, 7 Reasons to Date a "Moodle." Really, Cosmo? Moodle? This misguided marriage of "man" & "poodle" is apparently a trendy way of saying "geek" or "nerd" or "guy you'd never have dated in high school."

And they've figured out some way-cool reasons to date guys who are "sweet but totally average and dorky," so let's, ya know, like, take a look:

1. He’s capable of memorizing every line of Star Wars and Lord of the Rings so he shouldn’t have trouble remembering your birthday and favorite kind of flowers.

2. Sure, he may secretly want to get it on with his super hot neighbor, but knowing that you’re the hottest girl he’s ever been with will probably keep him from cheating.

3. Geeks tend to be tech-savvy. Which means not only will he be able to fix a computer problem and upgrade your software, but he’ll actually enjoy doing it.

4. Although the dumb jock thing is a total cliche, you’re unlikely to meet a dorky guy who can’t string together a sentence and carry on an intelligent conversation.

5. Since he’s supersmart and probably already making a ton of money, he won’t think being a roadie for Vampire Weekend is a great “career opportunity.”

6. He was probably bullied during high school so he’ll be sympathetic when you vent about the office bitch...and help you plot a plan to bring her down.

7. He’ll never hog the bathroom to manscape.

So let's review: since geeky guys aren't super-hot, they're desperate, will fix your computer, have the memory of an elephant, are smart, hate sports, make a lot of money, used to get beat up and, um, don't trim their pubes. Got it? Yeah, me neither.

As someone who only dates geeky guys (and girls!), I call a big ol' bullshit. I'm sure Cosmo's Ashley Womble had no idea that her dumb little article would get so much attention, but hey, Womble, GEEKS RULE THE INTERNET.

As expected, my fellow geeks are not amused. The fact that this shit was published for a major magazine is just bizarre and brought alpha nerd John Devore of thefrisky.com to shoot back:

A recent issue of a woman’s magazine instructed their readers to date “nerds.”

The article read like it was written by a bunch of mean girl anthropologists in little black dresses who just discovered a whole new species of men. They seemed so happy to find guys who weren’t smug investment bankers, aging jocks, or sociopathic musicians.

But by their definition, a nerd is a scrawny, wheezing, socially awkward savant utterly devoted to any woman who pays him even the slightest attention. That’s not a nerd. That’s a Mole Person. A shut-in with Mommy issues. Human veal.

Allowing these sorority girl scribblers to explain nerds is like asking a Klingon to explain The Force. I am qualified to characterize what a nerd is, namely because I am a nerd. An alpha nerd. I love what I love, and I own it. An alpha nerd can love Lord of the Rings, and the company of women. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Read the entire article here. Do it. the second-to-last paragraph is the best!

Aaaanyway, similarly frustrated by Cosmo's lackluster portrayal of her people,
my favorite sex writer & mega-crush, Violet Blue, wrote seven real reasons to date geeks:

As it happens, geek boys are all that and a bag of chips when it comes to dating. Don’t believe they hype about shut-ins and social skills; geeks will obsess about their fitness and organic foods as much as their latest coding project. Sure, some geeks are just as douchey as their over-macho counterparts, but the hot ones can be… the yummiest breed of male around. Geek men defy stereotypes, and in case you didn’t get the memo: smart = hot. If you’re lucky enough to snag a geeky boy, here’s what comes with all those tasty brains:

1. Geeks love media and many love serialized storytelling. You’ll finally have someone to take you to the movies, a lot, and a date that will be surprisingly game to see all kinds of films, in a theater — or snuggled under blankets with popcorn.

2. Nerd boys have spent a lot of time observing everyone, including other guys. This means they don’t need to overcompensate by pretending you don’t matter, and they know that there’s nothing to be gained by being insensitive. He’ll also have tech tricks for remembering everything, and are most likely to make a list of your lingerie sizes on their smartphone, for when he wants to get you a little treat.

3. Because he likes to learn about things before doing them, you can bet your Rabbit Habit that he’s taken the time to learn about sex — online, not on Jersey Shore. And he knows the difference between fantasy and reality, making him much more prone to honesty in monogamy; or he’s sweetly smart about his kinks. Nerds don’t just geek out on sci-fi and tech, after all.

Read the rest here. Right now. GO!!!

I have a lot more to say on the subject of dating geeks, but it'll have to wait 'til PART TWO!

Twat's That Smell?

2010-03-18T15:42:00.004-04:00

The scent of a woman('s vagina)

Ever been in a business meeting or on a train and thought, "Damn, I wish I could smell some pussy right now!"? Yeah, me neither, but apparently some people have.

German company Vivaeros has bottled the "feminine, erotic, intimate scent" in their new product, Vulva Original. They are quick to point out that it is NOT perfume, but, rather, is intended to be rolled onto the back of a man's hand, so that "the irresistible smell of a sensuous vagina immediately intensifies your erotic fantasies and starts the film rolling in your head."

According to company head, Guido Lenssen, "the intimacy of her scent is important. In the erotic market I realised you can buy billions of sex toys but they’re all about touching or seeing or hearing. I wanted to address this sense of smell on the market." This particular scent is comprised of urine, sweat & female arousal. Appetizing, eh?

The product site, smellmeand.com, is pretty strange on its own (though the name is clever), but the accompanying video is truly bizarre... we're talking nose boners, people.

Silly as Vulva Original may seem, it's apparently so popular that they're already creating new pussy scents, Vulva 18 and Vulva Exotic. Go fig.

Top 5 Playmates of the '60s

2010-03-15T22:10:00.021-04:00

Last year, I listed my favorite Playboy centerfolds of the 1950s. Now, on to the '60s:
(info below)

Top left - Donna Michelle
Top right - Jo Collins
Bottom left - China Lee
Bottom center - Ursula Andress
Bottom right - Catherine Deneuve

Happy Hour, cont.

2010-03-12T13:14:00.003-05:00

PART TWO
Erotic fiction by Miss Ginger Millay, illustrations by Adriana Munoz
(missed part one? read it here.)

I kick the door shut, then embrace the back of his neck and kiss him with a passion that has been building for years. His strong hands hungrily grab at my ass as I push my hips into him. I am already getting wet when he unbuttons my blouse and begins to lick and suck my nipples. I feel him stiff in his pants and I have to have it in my mouth.

I ravenously undo his belt as he kisses my neck, then I shove him against the wall and take him in my mouth. He is much larger than I would have expected, but I take him all in, to his moaning delight. With each moment, I feel myself growing more warm and wet. I don't think I've ever been so turned on by giving a blow job.

I pull away for a second and look up at him, licking my lips. He lifts me up and sits me on the end of his desk, eagerly kissing me as he rips off my panties. I guide his thick, hard cock into me and I feel like I could explode. He goes so deep that I can barely keep from screaming.

I bite his earlobe and whisper, "Fuck me hard, Isaac." He turns into a wild animal, driving himself into me while he watches me tremble in bliss. I wrap my legs around him and he lifts my hips, hitting my sweet spot. I can feel I'm about to come and I know he is, too. We orgasm together and collapse on the desk, tangled in one another, my thighs still quivering.

After a moment of silence, save for some heavy breathing, I whisper, "Take that, Henry Miller." He chuckles and gives me a tender, lingering kiss, then sits up, finds my panties and puts them back on me, kissing up my thigh along the way. I smile and give him one more kiss before we both get dressed. I can't help but giggle as I look over at him.

"Happy hour?" I ask.

He smiles and offers me his arm. "Indeed."

Vag-A-Fit

2010-03-11T14:00:00.001-05:00

New offering from funnyordie.com

Vag-A-Fit Commercial -Moon County - watch more funny videos

NY Bistro Offers "Human Cheese"

2010-03-10T12:33:00.006-05:00

It's here: cheese make from breast milk

It had to happen eventually, right? I guess that's what Daniel Angerer of NYC's Klee Brasserie thought when he decided to try making cheese out of his wife's breast milk. Though I doubt he ever expected so much public interest to pour in, after he began blogging about his human-cheese-making efforts.

Angerer told the New York Post that he now receives dozens of requests for custom-made human cheeses. Those brave enough to try the breast milk cheese seem to really like it. "I prepared a little canape of breast milk cheese with figs and Hungarian pepper. It tastes like cow's milk cheese, kind of sweet," Klee's chef explained, adding that the flavor depends on what the cheese is served with, as well as "what the mother eats."

Naturally, not all responses are positive. "I think a lot of the criticism has to do with the combination of sex and cheese, but ... the breast is there to make food," said Lori Mason, Angerer's wife and mother of their 10-week-old daughter.

While some are outraged at the idea, others are turned on. Mason, knows this all too well: "Some people who clearly have issues have ... emailed me saying, 'I wasn't breastfed as a child, so can I taste your breast milk?'" She, of course, declines such offers.

A spokeswoman for NYC's Department of Health said that despite the absence of a code forbidding the making of "human cheese," they've advised Angerer not to share his wife's breast milk. "The restaurant knows that cheese made from breast milk is not for public consumption, whether sold or given away."

What next? Mason is apparently pushing her hubby to make her milk into gelato... I just hope their poor baby isn't going hungry!

Breast milk cheese: groovy or gross?

Happy Hour

2010-03-09T12:04:00.002-05:00

PART ONE
Erotic fiction by Miss Ginger Millay, illustrations by Adriana Munoz

This was the man who made me love books. He introduced me to my favorite writers, made them seem relevant, sensual and exciting. Lawrence, Hemingway, Maupassant... "A book not only tells a story," he would say, "the book itself is a story." I adored this notion and have since gathered quite a collection of books.

New books come with a staple scent of their own, but used books...used books are experienced lovers. One can smell perhaps the perfume of a previous owner, the oil of their fingertips, the aroma of their home, contents of their knapsack. The pages have known multiple bookshops and it seems just right that they should have fallen into your hands. Le sigh. I found him inspiring.

That was seven ago, my senior year of high school. At the time, I hadn't considered bedding my literature teacher, but time has sexualized him. I imagine him being the Henry to my Anais. This man could teach me things, or so I hope.

I dug up his phone number yesterday. I'm visiting my home town for a few days and hope to see if my former teacher fits the fantasy that has formed in his absence. His voice took my breath away: gruff and manly, like the Marlboro man. He was well-spoken and friendly, with perhaps the slightest hint of flirtation. We agreed to meet for happy hour drinks this afternoon.

In anticipation of our meeting, I keep thinking of the inscription he wrote on my copy of his book. He'd written that if the book were ever turned into a film (there was a deal on the table at the time), he wanted me to play the seductress. Then another memory surfaced: he had picked up on my bisexuality, which was secret at the time, simply by reading my writing. Oh, my goody gosh!

As planned, I met him at the high school after his last class had ended. From there, we'd choose a drinking venue. High school to happy hour - harmless, right? Nope, this was my plan. I wanted our time together to begin where it had left off.

As I approach, his classroom door is cracked. I give a light knock and peer through, hoping to catch a glance. He stands to open it and is just as I remember: tall and dark with a mischievous grin. I smile, biting my lip in spite of myself, and we go in for a hug. As soon as his strong arms envelope me, I know exactly what I want.

"Just give me one minute, darlin'," he says. I sit as he shuffles his few papers. "You're looking lovely."

"Why thank you. You're not looking too bad yourself." We share a quick smile and he's back to the papers.

"Still acting?"

"Just writing, mostly," I say, "You taught me well."

"That's what I like to hear," he says with a grin. "So, what are you writing? More titillating poetry?"

"I write a sex column, as well as some other projects, but the sex writing is my real love."

"Tell me about it," he says, finally forgetting his work and turning in my direction.

"Well," I begin, crossing my legs and letting a stiletto dangle from one foot, "I kept hearing women say that guys didn't know how to pleasure them in bed, so I though I'd write a piece telling men what's what... how to find the g-spot and what not. It was a popular article and they asked for more sex writing, so I've been doing that ever since."

"My, my," he replies. "Your boyfriend must love that."

"Don't have one of those," I say, "Rarely do." He is silent, a rarity. I've found my moment. I rise, pick up my purse and stand beside him.

"Shall we?" I ask, smoothing my hair. Then I look him in the eye and I know where his mind is. I peer across his desk. "What's this?" I reach to retrieve a small, rather phallic, clay sculpture, my pencil skirt offering just a hint of my shape.

"Oh, a student made it for me," he replies, watching me explore it.

"Still a provocateur, eh, Northam?" I ask, replacing the sculpture.

"We rarely sway from our archetypal roles," he replies.

I lean against his desk and look at him for a moment. He returns my gaze. I pick up his pen and note pad and write, "What's mine?" then move it toward him, keeping the pen to my lips.

"The seductress, of course," he writes with a broad smile.

"Correct," I whisper, as I run my foot up the inside of his calf.

He jumps up, a tiger attacking its prey, wraps his arms around me and we meet in a hungry kiss. Just as quickly, he retreats. His eyes ask what I want...

TO BE CONTINUED!

Photogasm!

2010-03-02T21:13:00.020-05:00

Latex + cityscapes + sexy broads in heels = Delicious

I've just fallen in love with the work of erotic photographer Steve Diet Goedde.

Eeee gads, my brain is exploding!!

+ Dita Von Teese = Cream!

More photos here.

Sexy Sunday Reading List

2010-02-28T12:17:00.007-05:00

Happy Sunday, kids! Here are a few stories that caught my eye this weekend. Enjoy!

Sexually-exclusive, liberal, atheist men have highest intelligence
- Matthew Lawrence, Carnal Nation, CNN

French thrill-seekers pay for abduction fantasy experience
- Vicky Buffery, Yahoo News, Reuters

How to: public sex
- Ottimo Massimo, Fleshbot

Sex in the bible: filthy & fabulous (love it!!)
Tibor Krausz, Killing The Buddha

Mistress Matisse explains "slave training"
- Mistress Matisse, MistressMatisse.com

Real people, real orgasms: an alternative to hardcore porn
- Cherry Trifle, AlterNet, SeXis Magazine

History of sex & the internet
- Violet Blue, Tiny Nibbles

And finally, TOPLESS SLEDDING IN GERMANY!!

The Cock and The Pussycat, cont.

2010-02-26T13:28:00.002-05:00

A fable by Miss Ginger Millay
PART TWO (missed part one? read it here.)

“Why yes, silly Pussy,”
said Cock, in the know.
“Come on, take my wing,
for I know where to go.”

“Purr,” replied Puss,
as she stumbled a bit.
Cock offered her catnip,
“Here, take a hit.”

She gladly did so,
then heard a loud “Whoop!”
It seemed to have come
from the old chicken coop.

Now, Cock had been kind,
but this was unfair,
for Pussycat knew
what went on in there!

So Pussy jumped back,
“Oh, you silly cocks!
I won’t be your own
personal litter box!”

“But darling, sweet Pussy,
just look at my doodle!
Couldn’t you give this
ol’ cock a canoodle?”

As Puss turned around
to leave in a huff,
Cock remembered the catnip,
“Hey, want a quick puff?”

Pussy looked back,
her eyes growing wide.
Then that sneaky Cock
threw the catnip inside.

And into the coop
the Pussy did fly.
Only then did Cock notice
...Pussy was a guy.

Pissing w/ Wood

2010-02-25T11:39:00.001-05:00

This amazing piece, How To Pee With Morning Wood, has options for every possible angle of your dangle. Whether your compass points North or South, SexHax has the answers to all your erection-urination woes. Curve right or left? Try the "Leg Up" position or you could even turn your bed sheet into a cape and do "The Superman" (see below). Check out all 8 possibilities with sketches and descriptions here.

The Cock & The Pussycat

2010-02-24T19:05:00.003-05:00

A Fable by Miss Ginger Millay
PART ONE

"Purr," said The Pussycat.
as she sauntered by.
The cock slowly stood up
as she caught his eye.

"Good evening," said Cock,
so confident and sly.
But Pussy just licked herself
and whispered, "My, my."

"You see, my dear Pussycat,
there's something you lack.
If you come here, I'll tell you
and perhaps scratch your back."

"Oh cock, I lack nothing,"
Puss laughed as she spoke.
"And I know you want only
to give me a poke."

"Is poking so dreadful?"
Cock asked, moving near.
"Well, perhaps you will just
let me buy you a beer."

"That's how it begins,
my pussy friends told me:
A beer, maybe two,
then you try to poke me!"

"Oh no, goodness, no!"
Cock said, circling toward her.
Four bowls of beer later,
he knew he had lured her.

"I eat too much tuna.
It's making me plump."
The Pussycat howled,
"Just look at my rump!"

"Fiddle-sticks!"
cried the cock.
"Now, do not be silly.
I think you are lovely!"
Then Pussy asked...
"Really?"

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

Onion Sex

2010-02-22T10:31:00.005-05:00

Tiger Woods Announces Return To Sex

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, FL—In an announcement highly anticipated by sex fans around the world, Tiger Woods told a small gathering of reporters, family, and lovers Friday that the most dominant fornicator on the planet would soon return to sex.

"Not being able to get out there and have sex has really been tough on me," Woods said. "I've missed it. I love fucking with all my heart."

Woods said that during his brief time away from sex, he couldn't stop thinking about one day resuming his daily regimen of sexual intercourse with random women who look vaguely like his wife, only skankier.

Read the rest of the story at TheOnion.com.

Justine Joli Goes Roman

2010-02-21T21:02:00.010-05:00

Gorgeous adult film star to appear in "CALIGULA MAXIMUS"

Redheaded goddess Justine Joli is currently in rehearsals for a new Off-Broadway musical entitled CALIGULA MAXIMUS - and I couldn't be more excited!

The stunning model, performer and self-proclaimed "The World's Hottest Geek" will be portraying Caesonia, wife of the sadistic emperor. Joli assured AVN that this production will have little in common with the 1979 film, Caligula, and that director Alfred Preisser has a fresh, exciting vision:

"He wants to show the rise and fall of what humanity actually can be, which is, we all have a little bit of Caligula in us, which is hubris and decadence and the absolute id of the human mind, and while humans enjoy bedlam, there has to be a point where we all realize that hey, this is great and it's awesome, but fuck you, we can't do this all the time, this is pandemonium."

The show opens on March 11 at La Mama's Ellen Stewart Theater & you bet yo' ass I'll be there!

Designing "Lolita"

2010-02-20T14:31:00.009-05:00

Last year, L.A. architect John Bertram challenged the readers of his blog, venusfebriculosa.com, to design a new cover for Vladimir Nabokov’s masterpiece, Lolita. The contest was purely for Bertram's (and our) amusement - the $350 prize came right out of his pocket & there are no plans for the winning design to grace any published book covers. Yet hundreds of entries were submitted, running the gamut from creepy to gorgeous, sophomoric to extremely over-designed. Here are a few of my faves:

And finally, the winning design, by Lyuba Haleva of Bulgaria:

“What I really love about Lyuba Haleva’s cover is that it really gets at the poetry of the novel. Humbert is transported by Lolita, so the wings are an intriguing choice. Whether they represent Lolita and Annabel Leigh or Lolita the fantasy and Lolita the real person I have no idea. Somehow it all feels right to me and very inspired, and although the typeface is anachronistic and suggests to me a classic European novel, it seems to work.”
- John Bertram

Check out all the submissions here.

The Sex Squad

2010-02-18T12:33:00.021-05:00

Sex ed gets a wacky upgrade

The Middlesex-London Health Unit has devised a hip, new way to educate young folks about safe sex: The Sex Squad. The site features a bizarre, interactive game called Adventures in Sex City, in which the Sex Squad fights the evil, STI-spreading "Sperminator." No joke.

Click here to read the rest of my article about the Sex Squad at Creative Loafing! Hint: there's a cum-shooting villain!!

Happy Hump Day

2010-02-17T11:33:00.002-05:00

I'm freakin' in love with this photo by Alejandra Guerrero.

Beware Nonoxynol-9

2010-02-16T11:20:00.003-05:00

Nonoxynol-9, often used in contraceptive products for its spermicidal and STI-prevention properties, has been shown to REMOVE SKIN. It can cause cervical abrasions and strip away rectal lining. Yow-zah!

As for the supposed STI-prevention, N-9 has been shown to work only in clinical settings. Check ingredients on all condoms, lubricants and contraceptive foams, gels or sponges, and steer clear of any which use Nonoxynol-9.

Check these sites for more info:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonoxynol-9
http://www.global-campaign.org/whatsup_with_n9.htm
http://std.about.com/od/prevention/a/n9increaserisk.htm

Conservative Case For Gay Marriage

2010-02-15T10:57:00.004-05:00

Why same-sex marriage is an American value

This fantastic article, written by former U.S. Solicitor General and famed conservative Theodore B. Olson, was published in Newsweek last month, much to the chagrin of his fellow conservatives. In the piece, Olson articulates his frustration with his fellow conservatives' "knee-jerk hostility toward gay marriage" and, one-by-one, addresses the absurdity of their reasons for denying homosexuals the equality they deserve.

The following is a selection from his opening.

Together with my good friend and occasional courtroom adversary David Boies, I am attempting to persuade a federal court to invalidate California's Proposition 8—the voter-approved measure that overturned California's constitutional right to marry a person of the same sex.

My involvement in this case has generated a certain degree of consternation among conservatives. How could a politically active, lifelong Republican, a veteran of the Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush administrations, challenge the "traditional" definition of marriage and press for an "activist" interpretation of the Constitution to create another "new" constitutional right?

My answer to this seeming conundrum rests on a lifetime of exposure to persons of different backgrounds, histories, viewpoints, and intrinsic characteristics, and on my rejection of what I see as superficially appealing but ultimately false perceptions about our Constitution and its protection of equality and fundamental rights.

Many of my fellow conservatives have an almost knee-jerk hostility toward gay marriage. This does not make sense, because same-sex unions promote the values conservatives prize. Marriage is one of the basic building blocks of our neighborhoods and our nation. At its best, it is a stable bond between two individuals who work to create a loving household and a social and economic partnership. We encourage couples to marry because the commitments they make to one another provide benefits not only to themselves but also to their families and communities. Marriage requires thinking beyond one's own needs. It transforms two individuals into a union based on shared aspirations, and in doing so establishes a formal investment in the well-being of society. The fact that individuals who happen to be gay want to share in this vital social institution is evidence that conservative ideals enjoy widespread acceptance. Conservatives should celebrate this, rather than lament it.

Legalizing same-sex marriage would also be a recognition of basic American principles, and would represent the culmination of our nation's commitment to equal rights. It is, some have said, the last major civil-rights milestone yet to be surpassed in our two-century struggle to attain the goals we set for this nation at its formation.

This bedrock American principle of equality is central to the political and legal convictions of Republicans, Democrats, liberals, and conservatives alike. The dream that became America began with the revolutionary concept expressed in the Declaration of Independence in words that are among the most noble and elegant ever written: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

Click here to read more.

Meet Katie West

2010-02-14T23:45:00.004-05:00

A pal recently turned me on to photographer Katie West & I've become quite a fan.

Check out a few of her lovely self-portraits:

Happy V-day, kids. I hope everyone got laid!

Acockalypse Now

2010-02-12T10:29:00.000-05:00

It's time for another episode of "That's Gay!"

To His Penis

2010-02-11T22:35:00.008-05:00

by Paul Jones, 1999

By God, Penis, gypsy gland,
you'll be guarded with eye and hand.
You stand convicted, straight-headed pole,
of all crass crimes possible;
cunt's quill I'll bridle your snout,
rein you in, lest you creep out.
Take this warning, stiff stinger:
No jamming with jealous singers.

Wretched rolling pin, scrotum's crown,
don't rise up, don't wave around!
God's gift to good church ladies,
column for their cavities,
sweet snare trigger, sleek young swan
asleep in his own soft down,
moist gun, slick milk-giving switch,
fresh-grown sprout. Be still! Don't twitch!
Crooked and blunt, accursed spindle,
spike where prim pussies impale;
eel's harsh head, hearty and brave,
abrupt bar, bundle of staves.
You swell thicker than men's thighs;
drill that never dulls, love's spy,
auger who drives deep below,
leather veined lavender-blue,
scepter that grants lusts to grow,
bolt that seals women's arses closed.

The hole in your top, like a pipe,
whistles "fuck" when luck is ripe.
Your strange sight makes all women
charming and comely and warm;
round grinder, hound on the hunt,
you light fire to young tight cunts;
roof-beam boosting maiden's laps,
your prod sets all bells to clap;
brash rod, you've tilled twenty rows,
groin growth raised like a grand nose,
crude inconstant crotch crawler,
lanky and lewd loving lure,
gnarled yet graceful, a goose neck.
Hard nail, you left my home wrecked.

You're arrested; reed-tall thruster;
hand your head low; loin lounger,
you've come under my control,
bold witches wand; woe to your soul.
Why am I scorned and called "bad"
when wicked wisdom wins your head?

DIY Lube

2010-02-10T13:39:00.001-05:00

How to make your own safe, natural lubricant

Anne Hathaway, British GQ

2010-02-08T11:27:00.002-05:00

The princess takes it off - and still looks classy as fuck

I have to say that I think she'd look better if she put on 5 or 10 pounds, but she's still just beyond stunning. I cannot wait to see her play Judy Garland. Cream!

Your Grandma Can Deep Throat

2010-02-07T12:03:00.005-05:00

And So Can You!

REPOSTED from 7/08 (This was also the second article I ever published, when I began sex writing five years ago!)

You've seen the porn stars do it, yet just the thought of it makes you gag. Oh, the elusive deep throat! Having been taught on a banana at age fourteen and given countless cunnilingus lessons (on a diagram, dude) to straight guys, I'm a firm believer in learning the tricks of oral sex from gay friends...or at least bi kids who dabble. I'd like to share with you some of the tips I've found useful.

Suppressing the Gag Reflex
This is all about breathing. Inhaling while there's a cock in your throat will always make you gag. The trick is to inhale only when you're “up,” meaning not cock-full, and keep your throat as open as possible when "down"(relax your tongue). Of course, you don't have to deep throat every time. You can do your general up and down fare, then occasionally go all the way down. This will definitely render an eyes-rolled-back-in-the-head, you're a sex goddess reaction.

Positioning
Unless you're faced with a particularly curvy dick, the cock and the mouth are shaped differently. Your mouth goes straight back, then tilts down toward the throat. Imagine that your lucky blow job recipient is lying on his back and you are somewhere around his thighs. From this position, instead of moving your head straight up and down, move your head down as you normally would, then when you feel like you can't take any more in, tilt your chin slightly toward your chest. This way, you're working with the shape of your body, instead of against it. Also, depending on his shape, sitting on his chest or 69ing could make the deep throat much more fluid and simple. (Unless he's pierced - Yow-za!)

Random Bits of Wisdom
1) You have a tongue, so use it! While your mouth is going up and down his shaft, throw some tongue action in there, particularly around the sensitive head. You can also take a break from all the up and down action to lick around the head where it's super-sensitive.

2) Tuck in your lips. Covering your teeth will ensure that there won't be any painful accidents. In addition, it creates a sort of suction. Stick all the fingers on one hand in your mouth at the same time with your teeth covered. Now try it without them covered. You should definitely feel the difference. If it's uncomfortable, you don't have to tuck the entire time...just be careful that there's no tooth-to-skin contact.

3) Be sure to have a firm, but not strangling, hold on his cock with one hand while your blowing him. The hand can stay at the base or travel along with your mouth. Saliva can work as lube, so be sure that your palm is nice n' juicy. If you choose to move your hand along with your mouth, have your thumb and first finger actually touching your lips, so that they move together as one, covering more area, as you would with a deep throat. You can also twist your wrist, in a motion akin to opening a jar, to spice things up.

4) Balls: wherever there's a cock, they can't be far away. You can pretend they don't exist, but why would you? The hair? If you bring up the idea of trimming, I'm sure he'd be all about it for a ball-lickin' good time. (A beard trimmer can be a safe way to trim the boys) Testiclingus is also an option if you need a break from giving head. You actually can fit both balls in your mouth. To make this easier, wrap your thumb and forefinger LIGHTLY at the base, positioning them into a more manageable package. Generally, any sort of licking will feel good. But if you aren't into mouth-to-scrotum contact, that's fine, too. Balls like to be warm, so even cupping 'em in your hand will feel good, so long as there's not too much pressure.

5) Don't worry about being messy. The more warm and wet you can make it, the better. A little extra saliva never ruined a blow job. Anyways, you're sucking a dick, not competing in a damn beauty pageant. As Woody Allen said, "Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right."

Miss Ginger Answers Your Questions

2010-02-06T13:32:00.004-05:00

Dear Miss Ginger,
I seem to have acquired a new beau, which is great. The only problem is that he is... rather well-endowed. My mouth? Kinda tiny. Help?

Love,
E

Thanks for your question, E! It's been a while since I've answered any & it's high time I did so! Your stated predicament can be taken one of two ways:
1) you can't fit his entire penis in your mouth
OR
2) you can't fit your mouth around his dick at all

If your issue is the former, you should know that it's very normal for women to have trouble taking the full length of the shaft in their mouths, especially when men are very well-endowed. Your options are either to take as much as your can in your mouth and work the rest of his shaft with a firm grip (and your saliva as a natural lubricant) OR try to learn how to deep throat. (I'll re-post my article on deep throating a.s.a.p.)

Now, if your mouth won't fit around the big boy at all, you need to become a hand job master. (I'll re-post that one, too!) AND watch some porn.

In pornography, you'll notice that girls don't just suck these monster shlongs - they lick them & kiss them, too. Any oral attention to his dick will be exciting, so instead of focusing on getting him in your mouth, find a sextastic combination of working his shaft with your hands, kissing & licking the head and shaft, AND don't forget the balls! Have him trim his pubes (a beard trimmer is a safe, easy option) and go to town. There's plenty for your mouth to do down there other than straight fellatio - be creative.

I hope that's helpful, E! Good luck and happy trails.

Have a sex question for Miss Ginger? Send it to GingerMillay@gmail.com.

Emilie Simon

2010-02-02T10:42:00.006-05:00

I want to buy you flowers. It's such a shame you're a boy.
When you are not a girl, nobody buys you flowers.

I've had Emilie Simon's "Flowers" stuck in my head for the past two weeks. It's strangely tantalizing.

Marvelous, isn't she? I can't get enough of this French songstress lately. I love the wave of electronic music that's come out of France in the past ten years. Makes me smile.

Happy Tuesday, darlings.

Australian Gov't Against Tiny Titties

2010-02-01T16:18:00.002-05:00

Aussie censorship is off-the-charts!!

Claiming that erotica featuring small-breasted women encourages pedophilia, Senator Barnaby Joyce is at the helm of the Australian government's plot to ban all smut portraying tiny titties.

"We are starting to see depictions of women in their late 20s being banned because they have an A cup size," says Fiona Pattern of the Australian Sex Party. "It may be an unintended consequence of the Senator’s actions but they are largely responsible for the sharp increase in breast size in Australian adult magazines of late."

I am speechless. I'll write a coherent argument against this insane ban once my brain stops imploding. In the mean time, I will just say that I'm a lifelong member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee & that this is the first time I've ever posted my own boobs on here, so enjoy 'em!

Curse of the iPad

2010-01-31T20:49:00.003-05:00

Let the period jokes begin!

We've all been hearing the inevitable menstruation jokes that have come with the introduction of Apple's "iPad." Let's just get this over with, so we can get back to our usual raunchy sex jokes. Here are my three favorite bits of iPad-themed graphic humor:

Thank you for your time.

Ginger the Sub!!

2010-01-31T02:02:00.000-05:00

Eep! I'm giddy!!

I just got home from a kinky b-day bash for three of NY's most fabulous kinksters. It was my first night exploring submission & it was glorious. What a rush! Historically, I've strictly played the domme, save for a few, relatively vanilla, private scenes. But I've recently decided to branch out.

Tonight, the beautiful birthday girl gave me my first taste of submission: 23 b-day spanks, flogging, florentining(sp?), vibrating nipple clamps, biting, scratching, kissing, slapping... all while wearing the sexiest thigh-high leather boots I've ever seen. It was divine.

That's all for now! I am going to sleep well, with a smile on my face.

Photo from Ariel's blog.

Happy Hump Day!

2010-01-27T14:10:00.008-05:00

Can't remember where I found these, but they're too gorgeous not to put up...

Ballpoint Sexuality

2010-01-25T19:42:00.004-05:00

Sex explained by pens (click on image to view larger version)

Insomnymphomia

2010-01-25T04:20:00.010-05:00

It's 4:20 a.m.

Nope, I'm not stoned, but I am back in NY, and still feeling screwy after my red-eye flight home from Seattle a few nights ago. I can't fall asleep & am sick of masturbating, so here are a few random thoughts:

So... ever return to your college town expecting a light-hearted romp though your past, but instead come face-to-face with a fetid bouquet of expired friendships, jilted lovers & crazed fans? Oy. Living loud in a small crowd was rad for a time, but years later, returning to the scene, and the players within, can feel strangely suffocating.

It wasn't all bad, of course. While we shed the stale relationships from our lives, others blossom in the most marvelous and unexpected of ways. Speaking of which, I got to play out a lifelong fantasy of mine last week. I still can't think about it without giggling like a little schoolgirl...

What next? Portland, OR is always a quirky & wonderful place to visit, even during the gray winter days... especially when there are hot tubs involved. And I never feel as femmey as when I'm pinballing through the Portland dyke bar scene with the most fabulous gay gent I know.

Despite my missing Powell's (the most amazing bookstore in the world) this time around, I did make the neat, perhaps obvious, realization that you can tell a lot about a person by the books they give you. And yes, that is a play of Holly Golightly's line, "You could always tell what kind of a person a man thinks you are by the earrings he gives you. I must say, the mind reels."

Oh goodness. One word of advice before I take a shot of Scotch and pass out: If you're having an awkward week to begin with, don't read anything by Miranda July. Seriously.

Stormstooper Busting Out!

2010-01-24T12:00:00.005-05:00

Sex & Geekery

Photos of Devil's Playground Star Wars Burlesque show, taken by Shannon Cottrell.

Wearable Boobs & Squeaky Clean Balls

2010-01-13T15:45:00.003-05:00

First, meet boob scarves:

Next, see what happens when Jaime Pressly, Funny or Die & the folks at Axe team up to push the Axe Detailer, a shower pouf dudes can use to clean their dangly bits:

AXE Detailer Cleans Your Balls - watch more funny videos

My New Pink Button

2010-01-08T12:30:00.006-05:00

New Product Alert

"My New Pink Button (tm) is a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia. There is no other product like it. This patent pending formula was designed by a female certified Paramedical Esthetician after she discovered her own genital color loss. While looking online for a solution she discovered thousands of other women asking the same questions regarding their color loss. After countless searches revealing no solution available and a discussion with her own gynecologist she decided to create her own. Now there is a solution!"

Oh, goodness me. My friend, Chelsea, sent me a link to this new product, which I find at once amusing and disappointing.

Though it's unfortunate that women are so concerned with the esthetics of their vaginas, I'm for anything that helps boost pussy confidence, as long as it's safe.

This temporary genital dye is said to take only one minute to apply and stay for 48-72 hours. The product is available in four different colors and each kit contains 20 applications.

I highly doubt Pink Button will rival the popularity of Betty, a pubic hair dye which turned our heads in 2008, but it's certainly an interesting addition to the relatively new market of "vagina vanity" products. I just can't help thinking it could be quite a hindrance to cunnilingus...

Onion Sex

2010-01-06T22:09:00.003-05:00

Onion News Network reports major slut spill in Southern California

VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill

A Bookish Bienvenue

2010-01-02T12:55:00.008-05:00

To a new year

Holy fuck, it's 2010. The dawn of this new decade has me in a frenzy of creative activity - both sexual and otherwise. But before jumping on this wave, I want to reflect on the medium which has shaped my mind more than any other: the book.

Here are my twelve favorite books I've read in the past twelve months:
(in no particular order)

1) The Female Brain - Louann Brizendine
2) Without Feathers - Woody Allen
3) Take The Cannoli - Sarah Vowell
4) The Big Empty - Norman Mailer & John Buffalo Mailer
5) The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
6) Seductress: Women Who Ravished The World - Elizabeth Prioleau
7) Mortal Syntax - June Casagrande
8) My Sister, My Spouse (biography of Lou Andreas Salome)- Heinz Frederick Peters
9) Best American Erotic Poems: From 1800 to the Present - David Lehman (editor)
10) Even Cowgirls Get The Blues - Tom Robbins
11) Aphrodite: A Memoir of The Senses - Isabel Allende
12) Angels and Ages: Darwin, Lincoln & Modern Life - Adam Gopnik

These varied books greatly enriched my year. I hope you will take a peek at some of them and perhaps make your own list; not only of the books you've read, but also those you'd like to read going forth.

Let's make this the year of the library's popular revival. Join the bibliophilic revolution!

Ass Fucking...

2010-01-01T19:28:00.001-05:00

It's soooo not what you're thinking.

BizarreSex.com explores the Northern Columbian tradition of sex with donkeys. Watch if you dare.

The Night Before XXX-mas

2009-12-24T22:41:00.010-05:00

'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat.
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.

The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook,
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

Momma in her teddy and I in the nude,
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner, and Momma went dry.

Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
And tore back the shade while she played with herself.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

With a fat little driver, half out of the sled,
A sock in his ear and a bra on his head.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite,
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

"Woa Asshole, woa Dildo, woa Hooker, woa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts!"

And then from the rooftop we heard such a splatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.

I was donning my jockeys to cover my ass,
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.

His suit was all smelly with perfume galore;
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.

"That was some brothel," he said with a smile,
"The reindeer are pooped, so I'll stay for a while."

Then into the den, Santa reached in his sack,
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
The next was a gun, then a pecker that spits.

A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find,
And six pair of panties, the edible kind.

A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
And several more things I cannot even mention.

A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
And a dildo so long that it lay in a coil.

"This stuff ain't for kids - Mrs. Santa will shit,
So I'll leave 'em all here, and then I'll just split."

He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.

In time he was seated, took reigns of his hitch,
Saying, "Take me home, Rudolph. This night's been a bitch!"

The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
"The best thing about pussy is you can't wear it out!"

(No clue who wrote this, but I found it here, and tidied it up a bit)

Everyone's Favorite Porn Couple

2009-12-20T13:09:00.003-05:00

Visits my favorite city!

Say bonjour to porn stars Joanna Angel & James Deen, as they pose near Paris' Notre Dame Cathedral, channeling Quasimodo, the famed hunchback.

Thanks to the BurningAngel.com, we get to check out vacation photos of the horny duo, complete with Frenchie porn stars & boobies galore!

La Grande Epidemie

2009-12-16T23:37:00.005-05:00

Oh, how that makes me smile.

Question of the day: if Dionysus is the god of wine and madness, who's the god of beer and pornography?

Tell Him What You Want

2009-12-15T16:39:00.008-05:00

I just adore Betty Dodson & Carlin Ross. Their weekly podcasts are the only ones I follow religiously. That being said, I don't always agree with everything they say. Give the video a look-see, then meet me down the page.

Welcome back! Now, when it comes to sex, I'm not of the "show, don't tell" camp - that's for acting, not fucking! While you're going it, non-verbal communication is important, but your sexual dialogue should go beyond the bedroom.

I suggest talking to your partners about sex outside of sexual situations, when both of you are clothed and relaxed. The more open the communication, the better. This way, you can easily discuss what you like, dislike, fantasize about, etc. without it being a taboo or their feeling pressured to perform on the spot. Give it a try sometime, eh?

Alone for the Holidays?, cont.

2009-12-14T16:29:00.003-05:00

Wanking in a Winter Wonderland
PART TWO (missed part one? read it here.)

More ways to find those Oh (oh oh yes, ohhhhhhhh!) Holy Nights:

Feliz Navidad Friend-bang
You know that old pal with whom you've always had a bit of a flirtation? Perhaps you had usually been dating other people or were afraid of messing up the friendship. Maybe you were just plain nervous. It's time to guide that sleigh, Rudolph! You have a history and already know that you get along, but no longer have to see each other at school everyday. Take the plunge. Why not?

Where to look: your cell phone

Keeping Up With The Weinsteins
This may be a last resort, but your parents will probably be more than happy to set you up with someone. It may seem like a hassle, but you could give it a try. Just be wary – they will expect to hear the details. Mind your matzoh balls.

Where to look: into Mom or Dad's eyes with an "I'm lonely" pout.

Mistletoe Party
Okay, so it's not subtle, but it's worked for hundreds of years. Instead of hunting for bush in all the wrong places, offer up some of your own with a mistletoe-themed party. It's festive and will almost certainly lead to a bunch of people making out. Strategically place mistletoe around your party, keep the egg nog or spiced cider flowing and reap the benefits.

Where to look: Any holiday shop that sells mistletoe; props for having the real thing.

Wanking in a Winter Wonderland
If all else fails, you always have yourself. Might as well spice up the ol' masturbatory routine, eh? Treat yourself to a new vibrator, cock sleeve or even a great porno. It's the time for giving, after all. Give yourself some festive orgasms! Joy to the world.

Where to look: Your local sex shop. Barring that (or if you live in Texas), there's always the internet.

For My Wine Lovers

2009-12-13T22:16:00.001-05:00

In Europe we thought of wine as something healthy
and normal as food and also a great giver of happiness
and well being and delight. Drinking wine was not a
snobbism nor a sign of sophistication nor a cult;
it was as natural as eating and to me as necessary.

- Ernest Hemingway

night-colored wine,
wine with purple feet
or wine with topaz blood,
wine,
starry child
of earth,
wine, smooth
as a golden sword,
soft
as lascivious velvet

- Pablo Neruda, opening of "Ode to Wine"

The joy that is in Wine is the joy of sunshine...
Wine is not a drug. It is never a craving.
It seldom becomes even a mere habit. It is
an instinct, a man's time-honoured joy.

- Andre L. Simon

I fill the goblet again! For I never
before
Felt the glow which now gladdens
my heart to its core.
Let us drink!-who would not?
Since though life's varied
round,
In the goblet alone no deception
is found.

- George Gordon, Lord Byron

"Hot in '09," cont.

2009-12-12T14:35:00.000-05:00

PART TWO
"The Fellas" --------- Click here to see The Fellas of '08

Robert Downey Jr. - He's back with a bang! The wildly charismatic actor was nominated for an Oscar this year for his controversial role in "Tropic Thunder." And, ya know, he ain't bad to look at either.

David Tennant - The Scottish actor is best known for playing the title role in the wildly popular BBC series, "Doctor Who." Who can resist a clever bloke in a fitted, pinstripe suit?

Mos Def - How many other cases are there of a hip hop performer successfully transitioning to acting? Okay, "Be Kind Rewind" may not have been what most of us had expected from director Michel Gondry, but at least he cast the ever-adorable Mos Def.

Zachary Quinto - There is something dreamy about Quinto's portrayal of homicidal maniac,"Sylar," on NBC's "Heroes." He showed another side of himself this year as the reasonable "Spock" in the Hollywood blockbuster, "Star Trek."

Paul Rudd - What can I say? I've had a thing for him since 1995's "Clueless." Since then, he's soared throughout the film industry; now settled into his role as the "cute one" amongst Judd Apatow's gang of lovable shlubs.

Jon Stewart - The brilliant host of "The Daily Show" is unquestionably my pick for "Sexiest Jew in Show Business."

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As if he needed to be any more lovable...

Happy Hanukkah!

2009-12-11T12:57:00.005-05:00

Pull your dreidels out of the the hall closet - it's the first night of Hanukkah! I have no clue where this festive Joanna Angel photo came from, but I'm pretty obsessed with it.

Enjoy the latkes & applesauce, my darlings! L'chaim!

Alone for the Holidays?

2009-12-10T11:16:00.002-05:00

Wanking in a Winter Wonderland
PART ONE

Thanksgiving is over - it's officially the holiday season. Better make sure Santa's not the only one squeezing in n' out of tight places, eh?

**This piece was originally posted last year, after it ran in College News magazine. It's aimed at a college-aged audience, but I think everyone can enjoy it!**
Home for the holidays? The company of your right hand not enough to keep you warm? Here are a few ways you might find a little action for your North Pole:

To Grandmother's House We Ho
This is the Super Bowl weekend for religion; might as well hit up the pre-game parties! Aside from just services, there are also potlucks, dances, volunteer opportunities and even singles events. Hey,it's a way to meet people, right? Added bonus: your family will be thrilled you've taken an interest in The Good Book.

Where to look: Hop on Google and see what sorts of religious events are happening in your area.

Latkes and Online Dating
Okay, it's easy to ditch on the world of online dating. There are a lot of creeps out there and more socially-awkward geek-wads than can throw a 20-sided di at, but there are also people like you. It's the new frontier. There are a plethora of specialized dating sites, some of which come with compatibility ratings so you don't find yourself unwrapping the wrong kind of box. Stick to the free ones. Just a peek can't hurt.

Where to look: Nerve.com & The Onion have dating sites that draw an eclectic crowd, and then there's OKCupid.com for the more conventional lonely hearts.

Silver Bell Backtrack
There is a vast resource you might not have considered. The retro route: your old high school. No, I'm not suggesting you stalk under-agers, silly. I'm talking about your graduating class. It's surprising what a semester or two of college can do to people. Someone you'd never considered or even really known might presently be ripe for the picking. You have the opportunity to reinvent yourself and if it doesn't work out, eh well. You don't live here anyway.

Where to look: Facebook, yearbook

Jingle Bell Rock
There will always be holiday parties where people are eating, drinking and being merry. This is a great opportunity to meet someone. Ho ho ho! Everybody is in good spirits and likely looking to spice things up a bit. This is your vacation, after all! Hell, you could even dress as Santa and gets gals to sit on your lap. And who isn't looking for someone to kiss when the ball drops? Mix and mingle to the jinglin' beat – that's the jingle bell rock. Tip: Stay sober at one. Being a designated driver can be sexy.

Where to look: Any holiday parties. There should be plenty.

More ways to make sure your nights aren't silent in PART TWO!

Erotic Poetry of Emily Dickinson

2009-12-06T20:57:00.008-05:00

211

Come slowly- Eden!
Lips unused to Thee-
Bashful- sip thy Jessamines-
As the fainting Bee-

Reaching late this flower,
Round her chamber hums-
Counts his nectar-
Enters- and is lost in Balms.
(c. 1860)

249

wild Nights- Wild Nights!
Were I with thee
Wild Nights should be
Our luxury!

Futile- the Winds -
To a Heart in port-
Done with the Compass-
Done with the Chart!

Rowing in Eden-
Ah, the Sea!
Might I but moor- Tonight-
In Thee!
(1861)

315

He fumbles at your Soul
As Players at the Keys
Before they drop full Music on-
He stuns you by degrees-
Prepares your brittle Nature
For the Ethereal Blow
By faint Hammers- further heard-
Then nearer- Then so slow
Your Breath has time to straighten-
Your Brain - to bubble Cool-
Deals- One - imperial- Thunderbolt-
That scalps your naked Soul-

When Winds take Forests in the Paws-
The Universe- is still-
(1862)

Miss Ginger's "Hot in '09"

2009-12-03T17:27:00.003-05:00

PART ONE
"The Gals" ---------- Click here to see my Gals of '08!

Anne Hathaway - Sure, she's been on the scene for a while, but not until 2009 was she nominated for an Oscar (for "Rachel Getting Married") and, more importantly, she gave a delicious, gender bending performance in "The Twelfth Night" in Central Park.

Allison Case - After seeing Allison Case in the Broadway revival of "Hair," I just can't get enough. Her fiery hair, bubbly personality and drool-worthy voice have made the superb actress my ultimate Broadway crush.

Violet Blue - I've been a fan of Violet Blue's sex books for quite a while, but this is the first year I've kept up with her blog. Her thoughtful, sex positive writing is as refreshing as it is informative. She's an inspiration.

Rachel Maddow - The out n' proud lesbian newsie at MSNBC won my heart this year with her smart, snarky, ever-liberal "Rachel Maddow Show."

Joanna Angel - The Jewish porn star is both the mother of the alt. porn movement and the blessed angel who took the title of "Most Famous Jewish Porn Star" away from Ron Jeremy. Amen! She's won multiple awards and just this week, was nominated for AVN's Best Best Director Award. Oh, and I met her at a party a few weeks ago...

Emilie Simon - I stumbled upon the lovely music of Mlle. Simon a couple months ago and have been hooked ever since. The French songstress released her third album, The Big Machine, this year; sweet, dreamy and utterly fantastic.

Stay tuned for PART TWO, "The Fellas!"

Zing!

2009-12-01T10:52:00.003-05:00

"I decided that because this woman thought it was okay to make me feel uncomfortable in my home, I would retaliate and make her feel just as uncomfortable, if not more." — Chris Pesto, Syracuse University student [BoingBoing]

The Rise of the Hot Jewish Girl

2009-11-27T16:48:00.005-05:00

Details magazine's Christopher Noxon on why American men are lusting after women of the tribe

Cheerleaders. Five-inch heels. Big, natural boobs. Those are merely the most obvious sexual fixations most men have, but there's another undeniable one: ladies of the tribe. It seems that America can't get enough smoking-hot Semitic tush lately.

In a recent poll on the porn blog Fleshbot, "Jewish girls" ranked second among kinks (the winner: "freckles"). Jewesses aren't just the rage in the triple-X realm, either: They're seducing goyim on Mad Men and Glee and giving movie geeks conniptions over reports of JILF-on-JILF action between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in Darren Aronofsky's upcoming Black Swan.

That Jewish women have become the ethnic fetish du jour is all the more remarkable given that Jews represent a truly tiny minority (2.2 percent) of the U.S. population. In recent years, God's chosen menfolk have been objects of affection, too, though they draw their appeal from cuddly schlubbiness, not sexual energy—consider Judd Apatow's all-Jewish Frat Pack (Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, Jason Segel, et al.). But unlike their funnyman brothers, Jewish girls have had to overcome the old stinging JAP stereotype of frigidity, whininess, and big hair.

Recently, however, the Fran Drescher rep has given way to a more smoldering image. Think cultural mutts like Rachel Weisz, Emmanuelle Chriqui, and Rachel Bilson—women who have little in common beyond sultriness and Star of David necklaces.

Read the rest of the article here.

Happy Hump Day

2009-11-25T10:12:00.004-05:00

and nearly Thanksgiving!

photo from Argen-teens.com

Vulvacious!

2009-11-22T12:48:00.012-05:00

Judy Chicago's "The Dinner Party"

I finally made it out to the Brooklyn Museum yesterday to see Judy Chicago's highly-recommended, feminist art installation, "The Dinner Party." Her piece de resistance, a massive, triangular table, is set for specific women of great historical significance. Reproductive rights advocate Margaret Sanger & 14th century French, feminist writer, Christine de Pisan, even Biblical heroine, Judith & Goddess Ishtar have seats at the table, complete with, um, portraits. Here are a few of my favorites:

Sappho

Georgia O'Keefe

Amazon

Emily Dickinson

Boadaceia

More info on the fantastic exhibit here.

"Going Rogue" Goes Rogue

2009-11-19T19:17:00.002-05:00

... then bangs "New Moon"

Loving Courtney?

2009-11-14T16:24:00.006-05:00

Courtney Love's spread in Pop magazine is actually pretty damn hot! She (or, rather, her stylist) has finally found a way to mix the clean with grungy, naughty with nice. At 45-years-old, you really have to give props to Courtney (and her trainer)... and the boobies are nice, too.

Female Ejaculation!

2009-11-13T14:35:00.003-05:00

Betty Dodson & Carlin Ross tell you how to "squirt"

Fetish-a-gaga

2009-11-12T23:46:00.003-05:00

My hero, Violet Blue, listed the fetishes portrayed in Lady Gaga's music video for her song Bad Romance:

rubber, manga, loligoth, retifism, medical fetish, feederism (ref: liquidophilia), blindfold fetish, masking, necrophilia, zentai (non-spandex), dacryphilia

Awesome. The video is predictably strange, but also quite pretty. Take a look!

What I did this weekend

2009-11-11T19:51:00.003-05:00

Just Breathe

2009-11-10T10:32:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the lack of updates - it's been a big week for Miss Ginger! I promise to put up some goodies soon, but in the meantime, here's a lovely shot from Hegre-art.com.

I just adore this photo. It somehow manages to be both calming & supremely sexy.